The Broke Bitch’s Guide To Looking Your Best

The Broke Bitch’s Guide To Looking Your Best
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Before you know it, you could easily drop $250 on the best beauty treatments – waxings, pedicures, facials, teeth whitening, etc. But there are some super simple ways to keep your body in great shape, without completely breaking the bank. Some are cheesy, all are easy, and, together, they help to make you into a lethally gorgeous girl.

1. Great lips

There are so many products on the market that aim to color, plump and alter your lips in some drastic way. Some burn, some stain and some makes your lips so sticky, you can barely pull them apart. No guy wants to go near a girl with toxic gunk on her mouth, so ditch the fancy lip glosses that go for $30+.

More importantly, very few men really want to be branded by your hot pink pout, so unless you’re dressing to impress your lady friends, leave the magenta lip stains at home. Instead, buy a Chapstick. That’s right, $1.50 tubes of chapstick. If you’re a Katy Perry fan, go for the cherry, I’m more of a strawberry fan myself. This keeps my lips soft, smooth, and the scent is absolutely delicious. I’ve had plenty of compliments on my super cheap beauty secret, and now I’m sharing it with you.

2. Clear skin


A lot of the effects of a spa treatment come from the psychological thought process that going to a spa should leave you relaxed. This isn’t to say that a good facial isn’t worthwhile – once in a while. But instead of shelling out tons of cash for a top-notch treatment, work on getting clear skin by skipping out on super greasy foods, using an astringent twice daily and drinking lots of water.

The absolute best skin treatment I’ve ever found is Queen Helene’s Mint Mask. Available at most drugstores for under $4, this minty green face cleanser goes on for 10 minutes, and voila – clear skin. Once a week, use this quick fix and I guarantee you’ll see differences. No weird four step program, no expensive gimmicks, just a fresh face. Once you’re finished with the mask, make sure to put on moisturizer every night, even in summer, and you will wake up with softer skin super soon.

3. Killer bod


I hate going to the gym. I could live in nothing but workout clothes for the rest of my life, but I’ve gone to the gym less than five times in my life. The combination of taking 2 hours out of my day, along with knowing that I’ll be a sweaty mess afterwards, just isn’t satisfying. So instead, I’ve figured out that I can sneak in some workouts while I’m relaxing after work or between classes.

If you’re watching your favorite television program, surely you can’t stand the commercials. Every time your program breaks for the enormous commercial break, get on the floor and do a few sets of exercises: 10 pushups, 10 crunches, 10 leg lifts. Repeat this cycle until your show comes back on the air. By the time a 30-minute program is done, you’ve done at least 30 reps of each. Impressive, right?

Furthermore, go on jogs around your block. Not only can you scan for hot guys in the neighborhood, but it’s nice, your place is close when you get tired, and you don’t have to wait to shower. Gyms are great, they’re social and they can be a lot of fun, but for a bitch on a budget, you can easily improvise at home.

4. Soft skin

Exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate! Not just for before a spray tan, exfoliation is a key component in bodily maintenance that a lot of people tend to forget. Some companies have excellent products to do this, or you could do it yourself.

The first step to softer skin is easily completed by making a combination paste of sugar and olive oil. A slimy but grainy combination, these two work together to slough off dead skin and leave the smoothest, baby soft skin you’ve always dreamed of. Cheap and super simple, this is a fast way to get your skin glowing! Once you’re done exfoliating, slick on your favorite lotion. Try to avoid perfumed lotions, even baby lotion will do the job. When you’re getting ready to go out, add a pinch of glitter and a spray of your favorite fragrance for a custom sparkle to accent your collarbone, shoulders, arms and legs.

5. Sweet Disposition

Yeah, it’s tacky. It’s what your mom always told you, and you can’t help but to roll your eyes. But if you get more sleep and you smile more, the prettier you will look to everyone around you. With plenty of rest, the circles under your eyes will start to fade, your overall attitude will be better, and you can’t help but to smile because your head’s on straighter than usual. Take it from someone who’s seen it work firsthand: a little smile goes a long way.

The more you work towards a better inside, the more beautiful you’ll be on the outside. So focus on getting your eight hours of beauty sleep, and realize how pretty you are – in all ways.

Maggie Quigley | Elite.

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Preston Waters

Preston Waters is a thinker. He's not your traditional philosophical persona, however, as he leaves no topic untouched. Covering all the bases, from business to women, Preston Waters is the ultimate man's man for Gen-Y.

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