Put Your Bedroom Skills To The Test With New App That Tests How Good You Are In The Sheets

Put Your Bedroom Skills To The Test With New App That Tests How Good You Are In The Sheets
Women
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Wondering if that guy who you finally slept with after three dates isn’t calling you because you sucked last night in bed? Don’t worry — the first time is rarely the best time (we’ll blame it on lots of play-it-safe missionary).

Now there is an app to help put your sexual performance fears at ease. It’s called “Spreadsheets,” and it measures how well you perform in bed through metrics such as duration, speed, rhythm and noise. So, it’s time to start shouting “Cum on my tits!” like you really mean it, ladies.

Spreadsheets specifically monitors the frequency of love-making, thrusts per minute (remind us to hit the squats later) and the peak number of decibels a person reaches while orgasm-ing.

Compelling research if you’re into that sort of kink. The app works by collecting data from a user’s movement and audio levels through a specialized accelerometer and microphone. We’re wondering if Spreadsheets could also be used for gauging other activities like: twerking intensity, sit-up power and dog-to-leg humping.

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 4.18.14 PM
Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 4.20.58 PM

The real fun comes (no pun intended) in the form of a point system that gives you points for scoring with your significant other. For example, having morning sex will earn you ten points, while having sex that lasts 40 minutes will get you 15 points – better have the inhalers handy!

But is it really that simple? Is being good in bed synonymous with humping like you’re a jack rabbit or moaning like you’re raging at an Afrojack concert? Is Spreadsheets even a legitimate way to calculate sexual tenacity? What about faking an orgasm? If we really need an app to determine our sexual performance, there should be an app that can tell us the difference between a real and a phony climax.

To be honest, if you’re good in bed, then you probably already know it. And if you’re not, well then it will suck to have an app break the news.

Via Daily Mail

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Laura Argintar

Laura Argintar is a Senior Women's Editor at Elite Daily, comedienne and low-key science nerd. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up throughout New York City, graduating with honors from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Science and being the first woman in history to twerk at a 2 Chainz concert. LARG – as her friends call her – enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.

More In Women

Women Katie Gonzalez

Why Kim Kardashian Might Be The Perfect Face For Modern-Day Feminism

Kim Kardashian is definitely not the woman who comes to mind when you think “Feminist.” After all, she’s made a career on talking about her diet and injecting her lips with all sorts of chemicals, and most certainly spends more time in the makeup chair than she does actually sleeping in order to look like that each […]

Women Laura Argintar

Stephen A. Smith Thinks Women Should Stop Provoking Men To Beat Them

Is it just me, or is everyone who is even remotely involved in the sports industry a total dumbass? Seriously, it’s like if you didn’t get your head smashed inside your helmet enough to go pro, you then went on to become a thrice-concussed, vocabulary-challenged sports panelist who’s only talent lies in speaking about men […]

Women Katie Gonzalez

5 Reasons Why A Woman Never Has To Owe Anyone Sex, No Matter What

When one disgruntled husband sent his working wife (en route to a business trip, no less) an Excel-organized list of all the times he attempted to initiate sex and she refused his advances, the Internet was quick to make his work go viral. While funny parodies of this list followed, some inexplicably took to criticizing […]

Women Katie Gonzalez

This Pepper Spray Does Its Job And Snaps A Photo Of Attackers As Well

While technology is sometimes used for more silly and inane activities (because are people seriously still using Snapchat?!), sometimes it’s harnessed for a greater good like in this little device’s case, to make women more safe. Already exceeding its Indiegogo crowdfunding campaign, the Defender promises to revolutionize how women protect themselves, allowing them to seek justice against […]

Women Anton Benbalit

4 Ways Technology Is Revolutionizing The Fashion Industry As We Know It

People have been interested in fashion for as long as society has been wearing clothing. Everyone from Cleopatra, who was known to wear a traditional Egyptian headdress and flashy necklace, to Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” have been influencing what people wear and how they look for centuries. Although fashion has always been a […]

Also On Elite

Sports

The Swaggiest Style Moments Of The 2014 NBA Draft

It seems like this year’s draftees are already preparing themselves for the NBA limelight, as many prospects impressed viewers with their creatively styled and perfectly tailored suits at last week’s NBA Draft. Here are some of the swaggiest style moments from last week, just in case you missed it: Andrew Wiggins rocks black-and-white floral with bowtie […]