Put Your Bedroom Skills To The Test With New App That Tests How Good You Are In The Sheets

Put Your Bedroom Skills To The Test With New App That Tests How Good You Are In The Sheets
Women
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Wondering if that guy who you finally slept with after three dates isn’t calling you because you sucked last night in bed? Don’t worry — the first time is rarely the best time (we’ll blame it on lots of play-it-safe missionary).

Now there is an app to help put your sexual performance fears at ease. It’s called “Spreadsheets,” and it measures how well you perform in bed through metrics such as duration, speed, rhythm and noise. So, it’s time to start shouting “Cum on my tits!” like you really mean it, ladies.

Spreadsheets specifically monitors the frequency of love-making, thrusts per minute (remind us to hit the squats later) and the peak number of decibels a person reaches while orgasm-ing.

Compelling research if you’re into that sort of kink. The app works by collecting data from a user’s movement and audio levels through a specialized accelerometer and microphone. We’re wondering if Spreadsheets could also be used for gauging other activities like: twerking intensity, sit-up power and dog-to-leg humping.

Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 4.18.14 PM
Screen Shot 2013-08-13 at 4.20.58 PM

The real fun comes (no pun intended) in the form of a point system that gives you points for scoring with your significant other. For example, having morning sex will earn you ten points, while having sex that lasts 40 minutes will get you 15 points – better have the inhalers handy!

But is it really that simple? Is being good in bed synonymous with humping like you’re a jack rabbit or moaning like you’re raging at an Afrojack concert? Is Spreadsheets even a legitimate way to calculate sexual tenacity? What about faking an orgasm? If we really need an app to determine our sexual performance, there should be an app that can tell us the difference between a real and a phony climax.

To be honest, if you’re good in bed, then you probably already know it. And if you’re not, well then it will suck to have an app break the news.

Via Daily Mail

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Laura Argintar

Laura Argintar is a Senior Women's Editor at Elite Daily, comedienne and low-key science nerd. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up throughout New York City, graduating with honors from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Science and being the first woman in history to twerk at a 2 Chainz concert. LARG – as her friends call her – enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.

More In Women

Women Kylie McConville

Sheryl Sandberg’s Take On Leaning In, Beyoncé And Bringing College Women Together

Empowering women in college to come together, to be there for one another, to support, encourage and invest in one another – it sounds like such a plain idea, doesn’t it? “Don’t colleges already do this?” you’re probably asking yourself, “Don’t women already feel supported and empowered?” While the idea may feel so “unoriginal” and “uninspired,” […]

Women Gillian Fuller

Woman’s Death Star Dress Is The Perfect Halloween Costume For ‘Star Wars’ Nerds (Photo)

The Edmonton Expo, a comic and entertainment convention in Edmonton, Canada, was held this past week. Traditionally, visitors dress up in costumes representing their favorite characters, comics or stories. Undiscovered Photography was at the Expo, taking photos of the coolest costumes they spotted on showgoers. They spotted one chick who’d make any “Star Wars” nerd weak […]

Also On Elite

Sex

7 Stupid Reasons People Stay In Relationships When They’re Unhappy

We all know that one couple. Whether it’s your sister and her boyfriend, your best friend and his ball and chain or those two screaming people you call your parents, they’re that couple that’s just that miserable. They fight and talk behind each other’s backs and say they absolutely “hate” the people they’re so in love […]

World

Young Boy Commits Suicide In School Bathroom After Being Bullied For Years

A 14-year-old boy who was bullied his whole life committed suicide in the bathroom of his Lake Mary, FL, middle school Wednesday night. Lamar “Shaq” Hawkins was found four hours after his worried mother filed a police report. She’d arrived at Greenwood Lakes Middle School at 5 pm to pick up her son and couldn’t find […]

Women

How Misogyny Has Affected Silicon Valley And The Tech Industry As A Whole

Any fan of any reality TV series can understand that without controversy, entertainment would be tough to come by. When a controversy becomes personal and translates into a professional environment, however, the lines are crossed, and it isn’t “Real Housewives” at all. It’s real life, and it’s more serious than anyone watching could possibly understand. […]

World

Male Birth Control Proved Successful In Baboons Could Be Available To Humans By 2017

The world-changing miracle that is male birth control has proven successful in baboons and could be available for human use as soon as 2017. It’s called Vasalgel, and unlike female birth control, it is entirely risk-free and requires just a single treatment. First imagined by India’s Dr. Sujoy Guha over 15 years ago, Vasalgel involves […]