Your Inbox Dictionary: The Estimated Time It Should Take These 9 People To Text You Back
At any given moment, someone near you is on his or her phone. As sad as that is, it's the reality of the world we're living in.
So when people don't immediately answer our text messages within one minute (yes, we think this way — admit it), we can't wrap our heads around it.
You sleep with your phone, you shower with your phone and (gasp) you even take it with you to the bathroom. So why is it that people take so long to respond when there's a 99 percent chance their phone is right there in their hand?
Because we want to seem as if we are living the lives as depicted on our Instagram accounts, of course!
Got you there, didn't I? This is the breakdown of who we want to answer us and why it's so imperative that they do so...
1. Your BFF
Why she should respond immediately: Because that basically is the entirety of the job description of being a best friend
Why she isn't responding immediately: She died. She is on fire. She drunkenly left her phone in the refrigerator again
What goes through your mind when she isn't responding: What's the number of the nearest hospital?
2. Your guy BFF
Why he should respond immediately: Because without his input, you will make a rash, terrible decision
Why he isn't responding immediately: He's hitting on girls elsewhere, and can't have your name popping up on his phone screen
What goes through your mind when he isn't responding: Help me! Help me! The window of opportunity is closing, and I need your immediate response! SOS! SOS!
3. Your almost boyfriend
Why he should respond immediately: Because you said so!
Why he isn't responding immediately: It's a game, and clearly he's ahead of you right now
What goes through your mind when he isn't responding: Quit playing games with my heart...
4. The guy you met at the bar last night
Why he should respond immediately: So you're sure he wasn't just wearing beer goggles and he actually wants to talk to you
Why he isn't responding immediately: He most definitely had beer goggles on and regrets giving you his number
What goes through your mind when he isn't responding: What kind of word vomit was escaping from my mouth last night?
5. Your boss
Why (s)he should respond immediately: You're just trying to help him/her out and make his/her life easier
Why (s)he isn't responding immediately: Because you are just harassing him/her, which inadvertently makes his/her life more difficult
What goes through your mind when (s)he isn't responding: F*ck, am I getting fired for this?
6. Group chats
Why they should respond immediately: The purpose of group chats is to make plans, which should be done as quickly and efficiently as possible
Why they aren't responding immediately: It's 10 am and, unlike you, they have jobs that require their phones to remain out of sight and, thus, out of mind
What goes through your mind when they aren't responding: WTF, I'm just trying to help everyone out, but can't make moves until I get everyone's opinion. Can I just do what I think is best?
7. Your coworker
Why (s)he should respond immediately: You are working on a project together and need him/her to pull his/her weight
Why (s)he isn't responding immediately: He/she knows exactly what you are doing and wants to make you do all the leg work
What goes through your mind when (s)he isn't responding: This f*cking douchebag...
8. Your parents
Why they should respond immediately: When they brought you into this world, you automatically assumed top priority in any and every situation
Why they aren't responding immediately: Parents don't know how to use technology, silly
What goes through your mind when they aren't responding: I am your damn child, I should be your number one priority! WTF are you doing that could possibly be more important than this mundane fact I must relay to you?!
9. Your roommate
Why she should respond immediately: Because you don't remember if you turned off your hair straightener this morning or not
Why she isn't responding immediately: This is the third time this week you've texted her the same thing
What goes through your mind when she isn't responding: Damn it, she hates me. Now we're never going to resign our lease, are we? Is she ignoring me because I forgot to buy toilet paper again?
Photo Courtesy: CW/Gossip Girl
