#FML: Why Life In Our 20s Isn’t Perfect And Why We’re Absolutely Okay With It
It's barely noon on a Monday and already I've annoyed three people, forgotten two important items at home and completely ruined one very expensive blouse that I was totally planning on re-wearing later in the week. All I can say is “standard” because that's usually how it goes in a life that's anything but perfect.
For people like myself, the world can be a particularly messy place. We'll always be finding humor in the wrong situations and our willpower to eat an entire box of granola will always eclipse our will to work (out or otherwise). Things will always sound funnier in our heads than when spoken aloud.
Despite doing everything in our power to control the outcome, there will always be something that stands in the way of keeping it flawless. A beautifully composed text message that is sent to the wrong inbox. A friend unintentionally hurt by our lack of a filter. A past transgression that haunts us at the most inopportune times. It's an imperfect life we've made for ourselves, but it's the only one we know — and more importantly, we're okay with it.
We know who we are. We don't even skim the smooth surface of flawlessness. Instead, we embrace the many dips and curves that our paths have taken. We're not perfect and that's quite literally okay — at least it means we are authentic.
Maybe we'll never be the kind of people who can be 10 minutes early without encountering 20 minutes of traffic. Maybe things will never stick to the formula that works for everyone else.
Maybe Clementine was right in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” when she said, “I'm just a f*cked up girl who's looking for my own piece of mind. I'm not perfect.” And maybe, for once, that's perfectly how it should be.
Here's why our lives aren't perfect and why we're all okay with it.
First impressions are a fail
For people who can barely shake a hand without something going wrong (Too firm? Currently holding an item with your right?), first impressions are particularly challenging.
We're completely not normal by nature, so trying to act what we think is “ordinary” just makes us that more awkward. Being yourself is difficult when you're a total goon to begin with.
The beauty of being terrible at first impressions is that people are always pleasantly surprised and subsequently attracted to you once they recognize who you truly are. Chalk up your initial discolor to being “mysterious.”
Dating the worst guys
We're supposed to love the man who doesn't try to straighten out our twisted lives and complicated personalities — but what if that's what we really need?
Someone who has the patience to help detangle the web. And why does it seem like these boys come at the incorrect moments and then reappear at even worse times?
For now, we're looking for love in all the wrong places (which, coincidentally, is the only place we frequent). But at least it's genuine.
We're not going to find the intellectual, thick-rimmed-glasses-wearing bearded savant of our dreams if we can't stand the artisanal coffeehouse, right? (…Er, no judgement, it’s a phase.)
It's only fitting that we'd choose to date the most challenging of men — we're used to obstacles in our lives.
Most mistakes come with unintended consequences
Even when we plan ahead and actively try to avoid any mishaps, they inevitably occur — usually even worse than we anticipated.
Seemingly harmless commentary or behaviors can seriously offend a friend. We're conscious of our actions, and yet, we're still running into problems. It certainly makes for a colorful way of living.
We can't deny, though, that learning from these consequences has taught us to be very crafty and careful.
We take responsibility for the things we can control and accept that which we cannot. And at the end of the day, if someone we care about gets hurt along the way, we've become very good at apologizing.
We dream big
When you hold ridiculous expectations for your future, you must go to more absurd measures to attain your goals.
And even if we never accomplished them (do we really ever when we’re living an imperfect life?), it's the steps along the journey that make for the most salient memories.
Even if Sundays are for making grand plans (laundry, museums, personal projects) and never actually doing any of them (couch, tv, couch), it's okay. You're not perfect, remember?
You're meant to dream bigger and take way longer to get there because you're making more mistakes while growing the most from them. What matters and what counts is that there is actual life and animation behind the flawed one in which you lead.
We're serious about having fun
I will always have that special time in my life when I was 18 and viably crazy and I love that about myself. I love the wild, offbeat experiences that blemish my life's report card and I love the even wilder, offbeat people who come into my world because of it. If there's a choice between laughing at the wrong times and not at all, well, I want to smile.
Our lives might not get easier with age. Despite growing up, we'll still be youthful in our spirit and in our errors. And when all else fails — which it usually does — f*ck my life.
Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It