Sorry, Not Sorry: The Problems Every Party Girl Has

Sorry, Not Sorry: The Problems Every Party Girl Has
Women

Making the rounds on the party circuit does not come without a price. According to Newton‘s principles, for every action there’s an equal and opposite reaction– meaning that if we take that extra shot of Cuervo, we will most definitely wake up bruised and missing a few more brain cells.

Being a valuable contributor to the health of a soirée comes with repercussions; we’re always going to have great stories to share, but we might not always remember them. Despite all the problems celebrating can cause us, true party girls appreciate each and every good time.

Here’s to losing a little bit of sanity, living it up and loving our regrets. #Partygirlproblems: Because no good deed goes unpunished.

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Getting Cut Off

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This occurs multiple times in one night.


Ruining Dresses And Silk Blouses From Being Spilled On

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When our dry cleaning bill is more expensive than our bar tab.


Not Making It Out Past The Pregame

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Pregaming too hard, waking up and thinking you actually went out. Keep dreamin’.


Incriminating Photos On Facebook

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Switched

Yeah, those will have to be taken down before we start applying for new jobs.


Resolving To Get Your Life Together Every Sunday

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We’re putting this off for another three years.


Breaking The Bong

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How are we going to blaze away this hangover?!


Losing Credit Cards And Leaving Wallets In The Cab

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Drunk Texting

Why

…Never ends well.


Not Knowing Where We Wake Up

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Falling Off The Table

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Maybe even needing stitches!


Wearing Last Night’s Makeup To Brunch The Next Morning

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Sweating Profusely From All Out Dancing

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Finding Bits And Pieces Of Our Night In Our Hair

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Dollar bills, ticket stubs, late night pizza, semen…


Befriending The Bouncers

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They’re the guys to have on your side.


Destroying Our Feet From High Heels

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Finding Drugs In Our Purses En Route To The Airport

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Do we toss them? Quickly do it all before security? Decisions, decisions.


Red Cups Everywhere And The Place Smells Like Booze

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Feeling Like You Can Do Anything…

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Making Best Friends With A Complete Rando

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Wait, what?!


Flirting After One Too Many

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Those dance moves aren’t going to reel him in either.


Using All Day Saturday To Rest Up For Saturday Night

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Remembering Only The Beginning Of The Night

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Breaking Our Cellphones

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Classic. That is guaranteed to happen at least four more times this year.


Getting Laid And Not Finding The Condom

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Receiving Weird Text Messages Days Later From Guys We Met At The Bar

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Shady Puking At Work

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Leaving Our Friends Who Didn’t Get Inside

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Missing An Entire Day To Nurse Our Hangovers

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Hating On Someone Who Thinks They’re “Raging” When They’re Not

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Eating Gross Crap For Late Night

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Twerking To A Song In A Clothing Store

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Pretty good. Pretty good.


Trying To Make It To Work On Time After A Thursday Night

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It’s on. BOOM.


Always Having One Stray Piece Of Glitter Stuck To Your Face

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Recapping Quality Stories

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Honorable Mentions:

-Passing Out With Your Shoes On And Writing On Someone’s Face

-Overdressing For A Bar Night

-Crying At The Bar, Drunk Anxiety

-Knowing DJs’ Faces Better Than Your Friends’

-Questioning If You’re An Alcoholic Or If You Just Love To Party

-Having A Huge Fight With Your Friend And Forgetting It Ever Happened The Next Morning

-Forgoing The Pants

-Dancing Like A Maniac

-Ending Up At The Wrong Person’s House

-Living Like A Vampire.

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Laura Argintar

Laura Argintar is an experienced writer, comedienne and low-key science nerd. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up throughout New York City, graduating from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Science and being the first woman in history to twerk at a 2 Chainz concert. LARG – as her friends call her – enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.

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