Love and respect yourself
“There are no ugly women, just lazy ones” – Helena Rubenstein
Unless you love the person you are, you can’t expect others to do so. Respect is gained by first respecting yourself. Understand that you are a queen who needs to cultivate both her inner and outer sides. Educate yourself, study etiquette and manners. Be an interesting conversation partner who has valuable insights to share. Cultivate your style, looks and presentation.
Margaret Thatcher never had a hair out of place. Beyoncé is always exquisite and Marissa Mayer manages to look like a Vogue editor rather than CEO of a male-dominated tech company any day. I don’t care if you start work at 8 am or you’re just running down for a Fro-Yo and you can’t be bothered to wash your hair or put make up on — make a goddamn effort.
My grandmother is 85 years old and still looks impeccable every day. You think that’s easy with two replaced hips and a hearing device? Being an Alpha Woman is being an icon of style, grace and education…so get your shit together.
Date Alpha men who understand your value
“Respect is one of life’s greatest treasures. Without it, what do you really have?” -Marilyn Monroe
An Alpha Woman doesn’t deal with men who have lukewarm feelings, second agendas and who treat her casually. At our first date, a London-banker once suggested that we should “split the bill.” I waived the waiter over, gave him my card and asked him to charge me the full amount plus tip. Then I turned to my astonished date and told him I never wanted to see his sorry, lame ass again.
An Alpha woman doesn’t have time for common peasants, unaware of general etiquette. Do you think princess Diana was asked to “split the bill” when being invited for dinner by prince Charles at the Ritz Hotel? A man who truly appreciates you would never ask you to do that. If you’ve followed step 1 correctly and receive this treatment, chances are high he’s a high caliber moron, so get the f*ck out ASAP.
Demand a man to be attentive to your needs and listen to your opinions. At another dinner in New York I sat with a successful entrepreneur who normally doesn’t take orders from anyone.
He was using vulgar language with his boys, and upon having listened to it for half an hour I said: “Enough. You better go out to the bathroom and wash your mouth with soap right now, otherwise I’m out of here. Got it?”
The whole table went awkwardly silent for a minute, after which he turned to his friends and said: “No one is allowed to talk to me like that. No one, except for this woman.”
My point being: an Alpha woman doesn’t give any of her valuable time to someone who doesn’t respect her. To a man of intellectual quality, however, who grants her the royal treatment, she is willing to give the world.
Be proud of your occupation and set a life goal that will benefit others
“If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then, you are an excellent leader.” – Dolly Parton
I equally don’t care if you’re aiming at becoming the CEO of Goldman Sachs or marrying him. Whether you’re looking to be a fierce lady boss or a serene housewife taking care of your husband — be proud of your career goal. OWN IT. It’s the only way people will respect you for it.
The one thing you have to figure out is this: How do I benefit others with this goal? Will I inspire a younger generation to be better? Will I help raise a new one in the best way possible? Will I help someone else reach their dream? These are the questions an Alpha woman must ask herself, no matter if she’s Arianna Huffington or Rihanna.
Women are taking a greater part in society: in publishing, management and politics. In this transition we must aim to be great role models, not only for fellow sisters, but also men. It’s the only way to earn respect not for your gender, but for your achievement. It’s the only way to be a true Alpha Woman.
Anna Madsen | Elite.