You're Probably On A Sex Strike Right Now Without Even Realizing It
Singer and actress, Janelle Monáe, turned Twitter upside down after a quote from her Marie Claire cover story hit the web.
In the interview, Monáe explains her frustration with men inadequately standing up for women's rights and offered a pretty polarizing solution: a women's sex strike.
She said,
People have to start respecting the vagina. Until every man is fighting for our rights we should consider stopping having sex.
People were pretty, um, touched by the suggestion.
Both sides battled it out on Twitter.
Monáe eventually clarified her no-sex statements.
She continued,
Sometimes you give interviews right after the "leader of the free world" has a meeting to discuss women's issues with a room full of men and it's very frustrating. But no, I don't think sex is a bargaining tool. I just wonder how these people got born and raised. Then I remember that choosing a partner for a co-parent is important. Because those values are passed down for generations. Sexist to sexist.
At first thought, a sex strike can seem a tad ridiculous.
And scary.
Because, well, men are more than just sexual creatures, right?
Also, what about the fact that women also enjoy sex? This isn't the old days when women were considered mere sexual conquests and viewed sex as an obligatory experience.
Women enjoy sex just as much as men and are as outspoken about it as ever.
Believe it or not though, sex strikes have worked in the past.
In the 1600s, the Iroquis women (aka, super badasses) staged the first documented sex strike against the men in their tribe who continuously went to war without their input.
They withheld sex, food and other supplies. The Iroquis fellas were like, "Oh nah," and the women gained power to veto wars.
Women in Siirt, Turkey withheld sex from their men in 2001, to demand their help with requesting a decent water supply that no longer required them to carry water for miles. Again, the guys caved and began helping women protest and push the government to fix it. Siirt was given five miles of piping to run through the village.
Liberian women helped end a civil war and restored peace in their country in 2002 after shutting their bedroom doors to men. Then-president, Charles Taylor, was ousted and replaced with the current and first female President of Liberia, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf.
So who says cutting off the vagina supply doesn't work?
Still not down?
You may already be staging your own sex strike right now.
Though historically, sex strikes have been used as political tools, there are other, ways to stage one that don't ignore the political power that women have in 2017. They also don't involve organizing a group of women.
Activist and lawyer, Diana Adams, who represents clients with alternative sexual lifestyles in court (i.e. polyamorists, nudists, BDSM participants, etc)—stresses that a sex strike done for political gain may likely not be as effective in 2017 America.
She says,
Rather than going on a sex strike until my partner goes out and lobbies a congressperson or donates money to this topic, I could just as effectively do that myself. If my goal is to promote tolerance and defeat the Trump agenda, I'm not likely having sex with a Trump voter, so my sex strike is not relevant to that particular issue.
Basically? Your choosy lover tendencies are your sex strike.
Here are the ways you are staging a sex strike all on your own:
1. Women choosing not to have sex with men who do not share your political views and morals.
Adams says,
If somebody is a single person or a non-monogamous person and they are looking at the array of sex partners available to them, then it's valuable to use our own values partly as a guide.
2. Women choosing not to have sex with men who couldn't care less about pleasing them.
She says,
I definitely heard of many women who, once they hear that a man doesn't perform cunnilingus or doesn't even know what a clitoris is or thinks sex is just her servicing him—they decide not to keep them as lovers. It makes sense to take a stand. Even if someone is experiencing a casual Tinder hook-up, then maybe the guy with the MAGA hat and a gun in his hand in the picture is not somebody you find appealing even if you find them physically attractive because your values are so different and you don't want to endorse that.
Simple as that, peeps.
Janelle Monáe wasn't as off-base as you thought.
She just wants women to use their agency and refuse to reward men who could care less about the well-being of women as whole.
Monáe's suggestion (read: you not mating with fuck boys, even if they're cute AF) is indeed a plausible political act, people.
So sex strike or nah?
