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KFC Junkies Beware: Eating Chicken Wings While Preggers Reduces Your Baby’s Penis Size

If you want your kid’s future to be well-endowed, you baby mommas out there better steer clear of eating poultry.  In advance of the National Buffalo Wing Festival, everybody’s favorite controversial activist group, PETA, is alleging that eating chicken wings will downsize your baby boy’s junk (there goes Jennifer Love Hewitt‘s dream of stuffing her pregnant face with cock meat — see what we did there?).

According to a letter from PETA, “the latest scientific evidence shows that the sons of pregnant women who consume chicken are more likely to have smaller penises because of a chemical found in the birds’ flesh.” So, is the solution as simple as doing a little circumcision and removing the skin before eating – wait, what are we talking about here?

While research does show that very high levels of phthalate (the chemical PETA is referring to) does cause shorter penises, chicken is not a top food containing the compound. Phthalates are more commonly found in plastic containers and beauty products, so if you’re pregnant, it’s better to reduce your exposure to these items, instead (AKA don’t microwave your plastic container and then lick the melted edges, genius).

Unless you’re going “Down Home with The Neely’s” style, in a face full of fowl everyday, then there’s no reason to shun the dark meat. We promise, it won’t shrink your baby’s little drumstick.

Source: CBS Local

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Laura Argintar

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