Whiskey Vag: Science Says Drinking Is The Reason You're Not Getting Wet

You’re at the bar, countless cocktails in, and the person you are with is looking fine as hell right now.

So, you take the sucker home, throw him down on the bed and get down with the nasty.

Yet, as you’re humping away, frivolously touching each other’s erogenous zones, your mind disconnected in your drunken state, you suddenly realize, you are not going to finish.

The wind has been sucked from your orgasmic sails.

There is no way you can get to the "Land of Climax." Your vagina feels like your foot after you’ve sat on it for too long, completely numb.

Ladies, let’s talk about whiskey vagina.

Alcohol is a social lubricant and a sexual buzzkill all at once.

Research shows alcohol may be the thing that gets a man underneath you, but it’s the wrong recipe for getting off.

A study published in the Journal of Sex Research researched alcohol's effect on the sexual arousal of 18 college-aged women.

The participants were kept at different blood alcohol levels while viewing pornographic materials and masturbating to achieve orgasm.

The study “showed a progressive and systematic depressant effect of alcohol on orgasmic responding.”

A study from the University of San Diego, published in the Journal of Addictive Diseases, found a direct link between alcohol abuse and women’s sexual dysfunction.

Researchers studied the sexual behaviors of both alcoholic women and their sober counterparts.

The study concluded that abandoning alcohol could be a solution to solving sexual dysfunction in many women who abuse it.

There’s no doubt that drinking is a great way to relax and get you in the mood for the naked cha-cha, but if you want the end result of your bone sesh to be fireworks, it might be best to take the sober route.

Orgasms are made in the brain, not down below

Having an orgasm has a lot more to do with your head than it does with your actual body. Orgasms have a huge effect on the brain.

They release a host of neurochemicals that leave us relaxed and relieved of anxieties. Orgasms depend on brainpower.

According to John Haltiwanger, Political Editor and Writer at Elite Daily:

Aside from reacting to orgasms, the brain can also take a more proactive role. There’s even evidence that some people can orgasm just through thinking.

You don't even need physical stimulation to get you to your peak. Your brain is powerful enough to stimulate your entire sexual experience from fantasy to climax.

Since it takes the active participation of the brain to achieve orgasm, it's no surprise that being drunk would affect the role your brain plays in the act of sex.

When you’re intoxicated, your brain gets hazy, and your neurological receptors become weakened. When your brain isn’t in the game, whiskey vag takes it toll.

Your head says, “YES!” but your body says, “NO WAY, JOSE!”

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, making it easy to throw caution to the wind and hop in bed with no qualms about it.

It makes you horny as hell because all the tension you were feeling while sober has suddenly dissipated.

When you throw back a few bevs, your mind is going “YEAH, BABY, I’M RANDY! LET’S GET JIGGY WITH IT!!” Meanwhile, your vagina is like, “Nope!”

There are a few reasons for this lovely situation.

According to Anna Breslaw of Cosmopolitan Magazine, when you're drinking, your vagina physically isn't down to party:

Vasocongestion, which is the swelling of the vaginal tissues that make the vagina receptive to penetration, decreases, as does lubrication.

So you are just dry -- so very, very dry. Having sex while drunk may seem like a super awesome, totally inspired idea, but in practice, it’s like shoving a Slim Jim between two folds of sandpaper.

Your concentration takes a beating

As we ladies know all too well, getting to a place of orgasmic nirvana takes a lot of hard concentration.

We have to stay completely in the moment, emphatically trying to focus on everything our partner (or our robotic boyfriend) is doing to our bodies.

When you’re drunk, you’re significantly less focused on what is happening with your lady bits.

You’re too occupied with keeping a rhythm, and your head is in the clouds from all the booze. You’re just plain foggy and not present.

Sex is an art; sloppy sex is a joke. Sloppy sex may be easier to get, but it’s worth a lot less in the long run.

Drunken sex is just plain exhausting

When you’re hammered and just want to get it in, you rush into bed with the speed of the Flash, ready to rock your partner’s world. Yet, it doesn’t take long before you tire yourself out.

Staying out late at the bar takes its toll on your sleep-deprived body, and the alcohol you’re drinking dehydrates you.

F*cking while drunk is only fun for about 10 minutes. After that, you’re just going through the motions, wondering when you’re going to get to go sleep.