Lifestyle

They're Irrational Numbers: Men Don’t And Shouldn't Equal Happiness

by Lauren Martin

Life is like a chalkboard. All can be erased.

Yet men are like those milky erase marks that happen when trying to solve a complex problem. They sit there, hidden beneath your second, third and fourth attempt, as you work on getting it back to how it was before you tried them out.

You can see traces of them as you try and solve the next step, adding different numbers and theories. You plug them in different orders and at different times. You keep erasing, keep plugging and keep slamming down your chalk.

Many women, unfortunately, will never get to the right answer because they are going about it all wrong. They keep trying to plug in values that don’t belong in the equation. They keep forgetting that despite what they’ve been led to believe, men don’t equal happiness.

We already have the answer. It was solved when we became content with ourselves and started following our passions and interests, rather than boys in suits and men in graphic tees.

We had the answer when we were happy every morning without them. We were happy before we messed it all up trying to change the equation.

Like those kids in school with perfect grades who are striving for that extra credit that’s making them crazy, why do we keep doing it? Why can’t we just sit back and be happy with ourselves and our own answer?

We have jobs, money, friends. We have our health and our family. We have everything that adds up to a happy life. We’re at the pinnacle of our youth and have nothing but great things to look forward to.

We’re in our dream apartments (maybe not dream, but away from our parents) and in cities we always imagined ourselves in.

We’ve got everything we need to be happy and women need to stop giving up because they are trying to plug the wrong numbers into the wrong equation. They need to put down their chalk and their study guides and stop working through problems that will never work.

Men are not, and should never be, the missing numbers to your equation. They are neither the solution nor the answer. They are their own values, problems and fractions and you don’t need men to make a whole number.

They’re Outliers, Not Base Numbers

You don’t start with a a number for your happiness, adding men and subtracting them from it. You are your own answer, your own sum. Men are simply outliers to your equation. They can be values you reach for, ones you leave in the past or ones you don't even care to think about.

In math, an outlier is a value that “lies outside” the set of data. It can be an extremely small or extremely large value, but it is never part of your set of data.

It’s never part of the numbers of your life, but just something that’s out there. It could one day become part of set, as your values increase and he becomes less an outlier and more a value to add on. But until then, they are just numbers floating around an infinity pool.

They subtract from solid answers

Most of the time, adding men to your equation is like adding a negative. You think you’re inching closer towards that high number you’re looking for, but you’re really just subtracting from the solid number you had.

You step away from the equation, viewing your results that have gone the opposite way of what you originally intended. You can't believe you are here now, weaker and lower. You feel like you will never be there again, higher and closer to happiness.

You forget that you were strong before you added him on. You had your passions and your friends. You were filling your weekends with parties and new acquaintances.

You were loving your job and found happiness in the walks after work. Now you’re feeling like sh*t. You’re feeling bad because you added a negative to your life. You threw your equation at someone and he ruined it.

After the damage is done and you see the wrong answers you've come up with, you tend to feel defeated. But you shouldn’t feel stupid because you tried and it didn’t work.

You shouldn't feel that your entire problem is wrong because one value didn't work out. There will always be those faded marks covering wrong answers, but you can wash away even those.

They’re irrational numbers

In math, an irrational number is any number that can’t be expressed as a ratio of integers or a simple fraction. They will never be a solid number or work when counting.

A great example of an irrational number is pi. We’ve defined it as 3.14, but it goes on until you can no longer count. Last defined at 2.6 trillion digits, it’s been the case of study for mathematicians for thousands of years.

Men couldn't be more like irrational numbers. You think you understand one, then find out how complicated and complex it truly is. You’ve defined them at a certain number of decimal points and found a way to make them work, yet at the end, you’re still getting a wrong answer.

Those decimal points went on much further than you could see and as close as you were to the right answer, something went wrong.

Used as a mathematical constant as the ratio of a circles circumference to its diameter, men and pi have led women everywhere to feel like they are caught in an endless circle, wishing the diameter was just a little bigger…

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