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Real Talk: How To Tell Your Friend To Stop Being A Slut

So, your friend is being passed around and it’s apparent to everyone but her. She thinks she’s empowering herself like Samantha from “Sex and the City,” but in reality she’s more like Emma Stone in “Easy A.” Girl Code means that as her best friend it’s up to you to break the news and help salvage her rep. We know that having to be the bearer of bad press is always a tough spot to be in — what if she reacts defensively and winds up mad at us instead? (Ugh, girls.)

To be a female best friend implies that you are also your friends’ PR agent. And like any good public relations assistant, you must have your client’s best interests at heart even if it makes your job more difficult. Forget the debate on whether “it’s your place” to tell her she’s being too promiscuous — it is. Nut up. And remember, you’re only as good as the company you keep.

Grab a pen and paper and get ready to take some notes. Here’s the step-by-step guide to smoothly talking with your gal pal about her excessive sexual romps.


Step One: The Ease-In

Guess what no one wants to hear? That everyone is calling them a slut. What’s a more appropriate alternative? Not being so aggressive. Something like, “I want to hear about your recent sexual escapades” starts things off on a more understanding note and even level. Who knows, maybe all you’re hearing is really just rumors, so it’s important to listen to her account first. The key is not to attack your friend or else she won’t be willing to take your advice later on in the conversation.

When she’s finally done telling you a mix of lies and truth (let’s be real here: she’s not going to admit to being a human garbage can that has plugged up every hole), she’s going to feel extremely vulnerable no matter how many times she insists she’s “in control of the situation.” Be gentle in the introduction and don’t judge her for her behavior (because we all know that everyone else is, and don’t forget the roles could easily be reversed).

Responding with an unbiased approach is the way to go. Start off with acknowledgement that she’s been more sexually active than usual and that since she’s such a talented, bright and well-rounded lady, you don’t want her sexual exploitations to overshadow those shining facts.

Enjoying sex, sleeping with multiple partners and having a good time are all acceptable — until there is a lack of respect from both your partner and for yourself. The harsh truth is that there is a fine line between getting some and getting played.


Step Two: Taking The Candy From The Baby

Let her know that you’re on her side, that you understand where her intentions lie, but that as her best friend and ally, her behavior has you concerned. Does she really feel good about all this random dick vacationing in her body? Chances are if she’s seeking that much male attention, she’s feeling way more insecure than she’s letting on.

You don’t want her to fall further down the rabbit hole that is giving blackout blow jobs in bathroom stalls, so now’s the time to play the Guidance Counselor and change her future. Tell her that you support her hooking up with guys and fulfilling carnal sexual desires, but that she needs to slow down. When it comes to guys, sex will always be on the table regardless if you wait to sleep with them. Nicely point out that there won’t be an increase in her self-esteem if she sleeps with 10 dudes or 20 — she’ll feel worse instead when half don’t call her back.

Ask her (without offending her) why she likes to go all the way with a guy instead of being satisfied with just making out? It’ll make her realize that she can attain the same male attention and gratification without the negative PR that comes with having sex too soon, too often. Commiserate with her that unfortunately women do face a social stigma, and while there are ways to fight it, sticking a bunch of cocks in her mouth won’t help. America is only so progressive.


Step Three: Set the Record Straight

Look, if you’re going to be a hoe, there are better ways to do it than others. Don’t have sex with every member of the same group. Don’t have sex with the scene-iest douchebag (he only enjoys it so he can tell his friends later). Don’t have sex with guys who are chatty friends. And don’t have sex with seven different guys in one weekend and then brag about it while still wearing your clothes from the night before — that’s just a dead giveaway.

Encourage your friend to stop pretending like she doesn’t care. She’ll care when she becomes more talked about than Miley Cyrus. Plus, you care and you don’t want her making poor choices. Build her up and emphasize her strengths so she recognizes she’s an even better person when she’s not trolling for dick. The pros (keeping your vagina and your rep intact) outweigh the cons (slut shaming) on this one. It’s empowering to have a man by his balls, yes. But it’s even more fulfilling to keep him on his toes, wanting more.


Step Four: Hug It Out

You two are best friends, first and foremost. You can’t get mad at her for wanting a little somethin’ somethin’, and she can’t get mad at you for looking out and not sh*t-talking to your friends (as long as you really didn’t!). In the end, you both are just trying to do what feels right.

And if the worst that happens is that she doesn’t take your advice, then she’ll learn the hard way. Literally.

Top photo courtesy Instagram 

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Laura Argintar

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