My name is Bella and I fucking love onesies.
It's a pretty great, non-exclusive relationship. I have three that I alternate between a ladybug, a penguin and a decidedly unsexy cat. I even wore the ladybug one out for a night of bar-hopping and got hit on more than I do when I wear something sexy. I don't know what that says about me, but I'm into it.
The thing is, onesies are pretty much the least sexy thing you can ever wear. They don't hug your body, they give you a diaper butt and are virtually impossible to dress up.
Then Rihanna came along and changed the onesie game in her new video for "This Is What You Came For" with Calvin Harris.
What even IS that?
It's like a sparkly potato sack.
HOW DOES SHE MAKE IT LOOK SO HOT?
Would I look hot in a Teletubby suit?
PSA: No. No, you would not -- unless you're Rihanna and you're reading this, in which case, HI!
What makes the onesie work so well on Rihanna (besides it being on, duh, Rihanna) is the fact that she was able to dress it up. She decided to rock it alongside a sparkly necklace thing, space age-y nails and whatever is on her head. (Diamonds? Beads? The jury is out.)
There's also the onesie itself. It kind of reminds me of chain mail, but like hot chain mail and not whatever King Henry VIII would've worn under his suit of armor while chopping off his wives' heads. Better yet, it looks super cozy and perfect to nap in, which is my personal aesthetic.
I also think it's very Rihanna to literally just wear a freakin' onesie and still look hot as balls. Like, how is that even possible? If I show up in a onesie to work, I'd probably get sent to HR.
Rihanna, teach me your onesie ways.
