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The Sh*t White Bitches Love About The Fall

It's been a while, but it's time for the sh*t white bitches like. This time it's only appropriate to tailor it to our favorite season (no? just mine?): the fall.

It's the time you get to bust out your favorite outfits you said goodbye to 5 months ago and to finally get rid of that hair tie you have on your wrist to fight the humidity.

Seasonal delicacies are back on the shelves and back in our bellies. Peace out iced coffee, hello pumpkin spice lattees! Why else do chicks love the fall? Let's take a look below to find out:

PSL

Or pumpkin spice lattes — something I shouldn't have to clarify for the Gen-Y woman. These drinks are something females look forward to all year long. I honestly don't get the craze, but the reaction I got upon disclosing this information to my friends was anything but friendly.


Uggs

Alright, it's Saturday morning in mid-November, you roll out of bed with your eyes half closed and reach for your shoes so you can drag your hungover ass downstairs to get coffee. What item do you think you're reaching for first? That's right, it's your Uggs. These shoes are the fastest and warmest options women could hope for in the fall.


Leggings

The fall go-to outfit could not be complete without a nice pair of leggings (preferably Lululemon). What other pair of pants looks as good as these do when tucked into a pair of leather knee-high boots or Uggs?


Hunter Boots

The weather in the fall can be pretty unpredictable, so it's crucial to have a pair of Hunter boots on deck. Rain or shine, we women love to wear these boots. The best part is that there are interchangeable socks to coordinate with whatever outfit we're wearing that day.


Delivery

Who is going to leave their apartment for food or weed when the temperatures start dropping? Not me, that's for sure. It's time to rejoice in one of life's greatest pleasures: delivery service. Seamless and Grubhub galore; the best part is that there are apps for that, so the process is more efficient than ever.


Oversized Sweaters

This is probably at the top of girl's lists of what their favorite part of the fall is. The goal of this season is comfort and nothing is more comfortable than our dad's/brother's/boyfriend's oversized sweatshirts paired with our favorite leggings. These double as a great nightshirt because you are probably sleeping with your windows open.


Cuddling

The colder the weather, the more girls want to cuddle. It's always nice to have another option on the weekend instead of going to the bars. If you have someone to cuddle with, you can always weigh out the options: do I go out in the cold or do I stay in and watch a movie? Hmm…


Sunday Night TV

The much anticipated season premieres of your favorite television programs are airing in the fall. Ladies, it’s time for us to put our Netflix accounts away, as the best shows are airing at this time.


Eating A Lot

Thank the Lord summer is over, so we can finally indulge in the cravings we've been holding off for the past few months. Our bikinis have long been packed away and our heavier items can come out of storage. It's time to trade in the salad for burgers and the kale for French fries.


Leather Jackets

This is the only kind of jacket that is even acceptable for ladies to wear out at night. As we put on our leather jackets, ready to embark on the night, we can't help but to think to ourselves: thank God for coat check. I mean without coat check, there's a 99% chance that our beloved jackets won't be making it home with us at the end of the night. The best part is that they can be used to create an outfit or just to keep us warm at night.


Plaid/Flannel Shirts

The fall is the time to revamp your wardrobe and what do girls like better than flannel in the fall? Don't believe me? Check out all of LF's ad campaigns. Oh, yeah another thing white b*tches love — LF.


Posting Pictures Of Leaves On Social Media

The fall is just another excuse for girls to pretend they are legit photographers. Prepare yourself for the endless amounts of saturated Instagram filters that are sure to bombard your feed.


The Lack Of Humidity

Finally! The days of dousing our hair with Moroccan Oil can come to a rest. The fall brings with it cooler weather that basically eliminates humidity — let's give it up for better hair days ladies! This is perhaps what women love the most about the fall. No? Just me? I'll take it.


Dying Their Hair

Every girl is more than familiar with the concept of dying her hair along with the seasons. Summer means your hair gets lighter whereas the Fall is when you transition back to your dark roots.


Football

Getty

Single ladies perhaps like this way more than the wifed up ladies, as their boyfriends essentially go MIA during this time. This is the time for the single ladies to hit the bars on Sundays as these places are going to be filled with more than a few eligible prospects. You probably should get down about five football facts so you at least appear to know what you're talking about.


Watching Halloween Movies

“Hocus Pocus” and “Halloweentown” are classic flicks that every white chick loves. Whether it's because they feel obligated to because of their childhood or because they bring them back to a better place — these are the go-to movies to watch this season.


Scarves

White bitches love scarves, that is a fact that cannot be disputed. Maybe it's because we love spending our money on sh*t we don't really need. At that moment you think to yourself — you know what, this would look really great with ______ (insert whatever outfit you can rationalize here). Guarantee you rock this scarf one time and one time only.


Halloween

Everyone loves a good excuse to get dressed up and to get obliterated. It doesn't matter how old you are, this holiday doesn't have an age limit. “Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it”– at least that's what our favorite movie “Mean Girls” taught us. Bring on the bunny ears!

Top photo courtesy: For Wallpaper 

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Ashley Fern

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