The Best Life Advice Comes From Within, Not From Your Friends
Think about it: How many times have you asked your friends for advice? Then, when you don’t agree with their response, you say something like, “No, you don’t understand the situation.”
My guess is, it happens a lot. We all do it; you’re not alone. Here’s the thing, though: No one — I mean no one — will ever understand your situation better than you, so don’t bother wasting your time trying to explain it to others in order to garner unnecessary advice.
Let’s be honest: When you go to your friends for advice, all you are really looking for is confirmation in the decision you already made. If one of your friends speaks against that, you may feel like you made a wrong choice.
I love my best friends more than anything in the world, and I know they want the best for me, as do I for them. But no one, including my best friends, will ever know what’s best for me, in my terms. Half the time I don’t even know what’s best for me.
Aside from my sister, I have one friend whose opinion I trust 100 percent of the time. She’s not my closest friend, but I do admire her and I go to her because we think identically. We are years apart and we live in two different cities, but when it comes to happiness and life, we are not only on the same page, but it also sometimes feels as if we are reading the same lines.
Her and I both give people the benefit of the doubt, even when we know, deep down, they may not deserve it. We award second chances, even if we originally swore we wouldn’t. Most importantly, though, we don’t get walked all over. As forgiving as we are, we also know at the end of the day, you can’t sacrifice your individual happiness for anyone or anything.
Sounds a little hypocritical, does it? Well, it’s not. I promise.
Not going to your best friends doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek advice from others; just be selective on who you seek advice from. If you are truly having a difficult time figuring out how to handle a situation, it’s great to get a second opinion and hear different views, but just be mindful that you shouldn’t rely on other people to make any final decisions for you.
Here are my tips for finding your go-to girl for advice:
1. Look at your life or situation, and think about what you seek to gain out of it. It’s okay if you and your best friend don’t want the same things out of life; it just means her advice will always skew towards what she wants and desires, which may not be helpful to you.
2. Look at the people you know and figure out who does want some of the same things that you do. This person will be able to relate to you better.
3. Make sure the person you go to truly has your best interest at heart. Best friends have ups and downs, and most likely a past, so don’t let a slight bias or grudge get in the way.
4. Find someone who is open-minded and non-judgmental. You want someone who understands that each person’s path to happiness is unique, and it may not be the same as theirs.
5. Find someone who is comfortable with who he or she is. Jealousy will never disappear completely, but if someone is fully content with his or her life, it will make it 100 times easier for this person to be happy for you. This way, you will also avoid anyone raining on your parade.
6. Find someone who is positive and forgiving. You need someone who won’t rely on his or her personal past experiences to judge your future. Each situation is unique, and people who are positive have the ability to leave their past out of the equation in order to give you a fresh outlook on your future.
So, remember, she may not be your closest friend, but sometimes, it’s for the better. If you truly want good advice, you need to go to someone who has an unbiased view of the situation. If you are just looking for confirmation on your decision, accept the fact a best friend will support you, no matter what decision you make.
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