Signs Carrie Bradshaw (And, Cough, Some Other People We Know) Should Not Have Ended Up With Mr. Big…

Signs Carrie Bradshaw (And, Cough, Some Other People We Know) Should Not Have Ended Up With Mr. Big…
Women

In celebration of Chris Noth‘s 59th birthday today, let’s all put our mutual hatred for Carrie Bradshaw aside for a moment and examine this fact: At some point or other in our love lives, we have all dated a Mr. Big character.

He’s the guy who already has two ex-wives and doesn’t tell you when he makes life plans — red flags all around, especially you, Carrie!

First, we applaud the women who accurately read the (blatant) signs that they should not have ended up with this Mr. Big character. Duh, after we caught him looking at other women over dinner way too early on in the game, we knew he wasn’t the guy for us.

We hate Carrie because she’s The Girl who falls for the smoke and mirrors and doesn’t recognize the obvious: Mr. Big suuuuuuuucks!!!

And we know this girl, too. She’s the one we say, “I cannot believe she ended up with _____ (insert obvious Mr. Big character here). He’s such a prick.”

Don’t want to risk being humiliated on your wedding day or entertaining thoughts of The One Who Got Away in Dubai (AIDAN! You are so stupid, Carrie!)? Here are the signs that Mr. Big wasn’t right for Carrie all along (…or why Carrie should have ended up with Aidan).

Classic Dick Move: Rebounding With Natasha

Blogspot

There are so many things wrong with this one. First off, Mr. Big couldn’t commit to Carrie, his longtime girlfriend, but he somehow was able to get engaged to Natasha in record time? Not to mention she’s pretty effing gorgeous and way younger. So typical.

Big reminds us of the ultimate douche meets ultimate shady dude. Come on, Carrie!


Mr. Big Didn’t Introduce Carrie To His Family

If he is evasive about meeting the family, then he isn’t taking the relationship seriously. This one is a no-brainer.


Mr. Big Was A Cheater

You know that saying, “You can’t see what’s happening right in front of you”? That’s how we feel about this one. He wouldn’t leave Natasha for you, Carrie. Oooh, burn.


The Girls Didn’t Like Him

Samantha, Charlotte and yes, – we hate to admit it – Miranda, were funny and smart women. Their opinions were usually correct, and in this case, their unease with Big was spot on.


Mr. Big Was A Shady Dude

Mr. Big photo Sex-And-The-City-sex-and-the-city-24495043-350-263_zps4a63ac58.gif

Uhhh, what’s with not knowing his first name until six years later? Is this some Witness Protection shizz? Ick, not slick.


Mr. Big Left Carrie At The Altar

This move only worked out in “Runaway Bride” because it was Richard Gere and Julia Roberts; not pimple-chin-Parker and over-the-hill-eternal-bachelor-Big.


He Didn’t Have Any Friends

See: signs he’s a shady dude. Aidan had Steve. Smith Jared had an entourage. Mr. Big barely had some stuffy, clear-liquids-only acquaintances and his driver. There’s a reason why no one likes him.


He Had To Lose Carrie To Realize He Loved Her

Really? Flying halfway around the world to Paris to profess your love? Your ship has sailed, Mr. Big! Should have appreciated her while you had the chance!


Bad Gift Giver

Big gave Carrie a completely thoughtless, diamond swan purse because he had no idea what she liked.


Big Never Tried To Understand Carrie

Buzzfeed

It took Carrie writing an entire book for Big to appreciate her needs. Scumbag.

Top photo courtesy of Sex And The City

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Laura Argintar

Laura Argintar is an experienced writer, comedienne and low-key science nerd. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up throughout New York City, graduating from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Science and being the first woman in history to twerk at a 2 Chainz concert. LARG – as her friends call her – enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.

Original Video

Everything You Need To Know About Marijuana

Jesus has risen, but how high did he get? While Easter and 4/20 falling on the same day is most definitely a weird coincidence, it will also highlight a pretty important public opinion on what’s more important: weed or candy eggs? Sto...

More In Women

Women Katie Gonzalez

New Bill Looks To Drastically Reduce How Much Fashion Ads Are Photoshopped

In an effort to protect impressionable youth from toxic (not to mention unattainable) images of beauty, two lawmakers have co-sponsored a bill that would make misleading, Photoshopped pictures illegal. The bill, called the “Truth in Advertising Act” and introduced by Reps. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Fla.) and Lois Capps (D-Calif.), would mandate the Federal Trade Commission to […]

Women Laura Argintar

Bikini Bodies: Why Feeling Good In Your Bathing Suit Is Half The Battle

I, like every other bagel-addicted woman, have a complicated relationship with summertime. Or more specifically, the parts in which we prance around practically naked with nowhere to hide. Those moments especially suck. But what’s even more anxiety-provoking than the actual swimsuit part is the slow build up to bikini season. The few months leading up […]

Women Samantha Bun

14 Reasons The Bond Between Girlfriends Is Unlike Any Other

You have just landed a hot date for the weekend! Who do you message first? That’s right, you group message your girlfriends, who are, collectively, always the first point of contact. Why? Only because they’re some of the most important people in your life and you know they’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines. […]

Women Katie Gonzalez

This Condom Company Is Looking To Put An End To Rape Culture With Its Pro-Consent Messages (Photos)

In an attempt to incorporate consent into the hook-up culture, one organization has partnered with a custom condom company to produce a line of condoms that includes important messages against rape and sexual assault. The condoms, which were created to “promote the usage of proper language when engaging in any intimate activity,” include messages such […]

Also On Elite