Signs Carrie Bradshaw (And, Cough, Some Other People We Know) Should Not Have Ended Up With Mr. Big…

Signs Carrie Bradshaw (And, Cough, Some Other People We Know) Should Not Have Ended Up With Mr. Big…
Women

In celebration of Chris Noth‘s 59th birthday today, let’s all put our mutual hatred for Carrie Bradshaw aside for a moment and examine this fact: At some point or other in our love lives, we have all dated a Mr. Big character.

He’s the guy who already has two ex-wives and doesn’t tell you when he makes life plans — red flags all around, especially you, Carrie!

First, we applaud the women who accurately read the (blatant) signs that they should not have ended up with this Mr. Big character. Duh, after we caught him looking at other women over dinner way too early on in the game, we knew he wasn’t the guy for us.

We hate Carrie because she’s The Girl who falls for the smoke and mirrors and doesn’t recognize the obvious: Mr. Big suuuuuuuucks!!!

And we know this girl, too. She’s the one we say, “I cannot believe she ended up with _____ (insert obvious Mr. Big character here). He’s such a prick.”

Don’t want to risk being humiliated on your wedding day or entertaining thoughts of The One Who Got Away in Dubai (AIDAN! You are so stupid, Carrie!)? Here are the signs that Mr. Big wasn’t right for Carrie all along (…or why Carrie should have ended up with Aidan).

Classic Dick Move: Rebounding With Natasha

Blogspot

There are so many things wrong with this one. First off, Mr. Big couldn’t commit to Carrie, his longtime girlfriend, but he somehow was able to get engaged to Natasha in record time? Not to mention she’s pretty effing gorgeous and way younger. So typical.

Big reminds us of the ultimate douche meets ultimate shady dude. Come on, Carrie!


Mr. Big Didn’t Introduce Carrie To His Family

If he is evasive about meeting the family, then he isn’t taking the relationship seriously. This one is a no-brainer.


Mr. Big Was A Cheater

You know that saying, “You can’t see what’s happening right in front of you”? That’s how we feel about this one. He wouldn’t leave Natasha for you, Carrie. Oooh, burn.


The Girls Didn’t Like Him

Samantha, Charlotte and yes, – we hate to admit it – Miranda, were funny and smart women. Their opinions were usually correct, and in this case, their unease with Big was spot on.


Mr. Big Was A Shady Dude

Mr. Big photo Sex-And-The-City-sex-and-the-city-24495043-350-263_zps4a63ac58.gif

Uhhh, what’s with not knowing his first name until six years later? Is this some Witness Protection shizz? Ick, not slick.


Mr. Big Left Carrie At The Altar

This move only worked out in “Runaway Bride” because it was Richard Gere and Julia Roberts; not pimple-chin-Parker and over-the-hill-eternal-bachelor-Big.


He Didn’t Have Any Friends

See: signs he’s a shady dude. Aidan had Steve. Smith Jared had an entourage. Mr. Big barely had some stuffy, clear-liquids-only acquaintances and his driver. There’s a reason why no one likes him.


He Had To Lose Carrie To Realize He Loved Her

Really? Flying halfway around the world to Paris to profess your love? Your ship has sailed, Mr. Big! Should have appreciated her while you had the chance!


Bad Gift Giver

Big gave Carrie a completely thoughtless, diamond swan purse because he had no idea what she liked.


Big Never Tried To Understand Carrie

Buzzfeed

It took Carrie writing an entire book for Big to appreciate her needs. Scumbag.

Top photo courtesy of Sex And The City

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Laura Argintar

Laura Argintar is an experienced writer, comedienne and low-key science nerd. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up throughout New York City, graduating from the University of Michigan with a Bachelor of Science and being the first woman in history to twerk at a 2 Chainz concert. LARG – as her friends call her – enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.

More In Women

Women Ashley Fern

The 5 Things Every Girl’s Doorman Is Judging Her For

As females living in a major city, we find comfort in living in a doorman building. We think these men will protect us from whatever is lingering on the outside streets. Well, at least that’s what our parents take comfort in. We, on the other hand, more so appreciate the fact that while we’re at […]

Women Kylie McConville

The 10 Comments You Should Never Make To A Woman About Her Body

When it comes to women and their bodies, everybody’s got an opinion. It doesn’t matter if you’re a state senator, an ex-boyfriend, the owner of the bodega on the corner or even a best friend: Everybody always knows what’s best for your body type, right? You’re either dressing too conservatively or not conservatively enough; you’re […]

Women Laura Argintar

The 15 Codes Only You And Your Office BFF Will Understand

With the overwhelming amount of time we spend in the office, it’s important to have a partner-in-crime who has your back against faulty Keurigs and overachieving colleagues. Your office BFF understands the petty things that your friends just can’t — like how messed up it was that John from Accounting took the last hot cup […]

Also On Elite

LOL Lists

15 Reasons Why You Are The Most Annoying Person On Facebook

You probably thought of at least one person when you saw the name of this list; it’s that person, who no matter how much you love him or her or how great of a friend he or she can be in real life, he or she is without a doubt, the most annoying person on your Facebook […]

Money

A Good Entrepreneur Is A Slave To His Work, A Great Entrepreneur Is A Master

If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always gotten. Sometimes what you’ve been getting is exactly what you want, but other times, repetitive results can be very costly. Let’s talk for a moment about my fictional friend, Steve. Steve may work his whole life, scraping his arms and bruising […]

Money

21 Things That People With Confidence Do Differently

Confidence is a unifying trait amongst the most successful people in the world. It’s the confidence to push past the word “no” and to pursue your dream despite the looming possibility of failure. Confident people are the people who aren’t afraid to take a stance and change the world; they stretch across nearly every realm […]