We’ve watched enough ABC ‘Nightline’ and ’20/20′ to know that there are a lot of questionable characters out there. Keeping our guards up in relationships might lead to a bad rep, but at least when we first meet somebody, it’s important not to divulge everything. We have to put our “feelers” out, first. Through a combination of intuition and common sense, we’ve become practically pros at determining who is a shady dude.
You know the type – the guy who’s at the bar alone, giving you the eyes, and smelling like cheap, sidewalk cologne (and maybe a skinned baby or two). He doesn’t even wait for you to catch his gaze because he’s walking right up to you and touching your arm way too soon. Yeah, that is most definitely a sketchy character. You don’t even need to pretend to be nice to the shadster.
In fact, the best thing to do is act like you’re Uma Thurman in “Kill Bill”, get your animal instinct on, and walk away from the guy who looks like he’s about to slip one in your drink. Here are some clues to help you decipher if he’s a sketchball:
His Facebook Profile Picture Is A Hot Model And We Have No Mutual Friends
No mutual friends?! We’ve had Facebook since high school – there’s got to be at least one person we have in common. Red flag!
He Hands You A Homemade Business Card
…Which automatically screams, “NOT LEGIT!”
He Frequently Receives The “Hey, New Phone. Who Is This?” Text Message Response
Delete. Delete. Delete.
He Lets You Decide His Age
Or worse, he makes you guess his age…and settles on two years older than you. (Hint: It’s probably more like five.)
He Name Drops On The Regular…But None Of Those People Know Him
He’s Vague About His Job (Because He Doesn’t Have One)
And so he probably lets you buy the drinks, also claiming he’s “impressed” that a women is offering to pay. Puh-lease.
He Has Two First Names
(Although not always a clear sign of shadiness, I personally never trust a man with two first names. #Rules to live by.)
His Clothes Are Faux Designer
Where the eff did this Fauxmani come from?
He Has More Than One Cellphone
….and most likely takes it with him in the shower.
He Sweet-Talks Too Much
Me backing away is not because I’m enjoying what you’re saying. You’re making me uncomfortable. Stop it.
He Never Uses Your First Name
Classic move. It’s always “baby” like he’s Big Sean or something.
He Doesn’t Care If You’re Underage
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