The ABC’s Of The Single Lady Life
So you’re single. Party of one. Counter space only. Long walks with your headphones. By now, you’ve perfected the art of eating alone and filling your schedule with a variety of social engagements so that you never spend Friday night by yourself.
Congratulations, while other people are stressing about whose family they have to spend Thanksgiving with, you already know where you’ll be going.
This holiday, while others have to spend extra money on their partners, you get to spend it on yourself! Despite the cold winter weather telling you it’s time to settle down, there are merits to being single.
And though you might be sharing this season with just yourself, you are awesome company to keep.
Whether this is your first time going solo to the rodeo or you’re a pro at playing the field, here are the ABC’s of being single.
A is for always a friend, never a girlfriend.
B is for ‘Backup.’ It’s imperative to have one.
C is for calling the shots. You are your own boss. You answer to yourself only, and that’s pretty badass.
D is for all the Different D that you’re getting. BOOM. You go girl.
E is for eating. That’s why they call it “comfort food.”
F is for fantasizing. About anything, really – Robert Pattinson as your boyfriend, the guy from your elevator and his penis lines on top of you, a six pack of abs or beer…
G is for going out. Because no one is going to hold you back.
H is for hooking up. Duh, that’s the name of the game.
I is for independence. That’s what (you tell yourself) you’ve gained in exchange for being single.
J is for juggling multiple men at one time. Two is always better than one!
K is for karma. What you put out in this world will come back to you, so be careful of whom you’re f*cking, f*cking over and f*cking with.
L is for love. Despite trying to convince yourself that you aren’t looking for it, you are. And without love comes another “L” word: loneliness. Sigh.
M is for movie night. While all your coupled friends are going to the theater together to see “Gravity” and grab a bite after, you’re staying in solo watching “The Parent Trap” again on HBOGO.
N is for night clubs. Even though you never meet anyone of significance there, you still continue to go because you like dancing in the dark, getting recklessly drunk and anonymously flirting.
O is for one-night stands. They are your staple and justification for still being single.
P is for putting yourself out there. Don’t give up.
Q is for Quagmire. Get your ‘giggity, giggity’ on.
R is for re-dial….the pizza guy! (Am I Right?)
S is for set-ups. If you aren’t getting set-up, then you desperately beg your friends to play matchmaker; if you keep getting set-up on disastrous dates, then you desperately beg your friends to stop.
T is for texting. That excited feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when your crush’s name appears on your screen never gets old.
U is for understanding yourself. If you aren’t getting to know someone else, you’re using this time to get to know yourself.
V is for Vodka. Lots of it.
W is for “What am I doing wrong? Where are all the good guys?” You often ask yourself this after another botched date or night alone.
X is for X-tra curricular activities that you now have all the time in the world for…since you don’t have a boyfriend.
Y is for Yes, yes, yes! Say yes to everything because you can. Be spontaneous. Take adventures.
Z is for zooming in on your self-confidence. It’s attractive and it works every time.
Top Photo Courtesy: We Heart It