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The Best Items To Steal From Your Boyfriend

Whether it's waking up at 7 am in need of some spare pants or spotting that comfy Henley and snatching it – some items are just better when they come from our boyfriends' stash.

Going over to his place is always fun because he has a bigger couch, a bigger television and better snacks. And, we get to return home the next day carrying a goody bag filled with his stolen stuff, like that vial of marijuana and random “Space Jams” figurine.

His property continues to pile up in your bedroom until it either gets way too obvious that most of his possessions are at your place, or the two of you breakup…which then ends in an awkward exchange of goods usually done through a third party (except he's definitely not getting that worn-in rock band t-shirt back, ever).

Boyfriends, arm your closets and lock your doors, we're coming after your stuff. And we have no intention of ever giving anything back. Here, have a hair comb in exchange.

The Classic Oversized Button Down

Timeless and sexy.


Pajama Pants

Seriously, why are guy's flannels so much softer than our own?


Munchies and Junk Food

All of ours is the diet kind, but sometimes a gal just needs a real, full-fat potato chip. And some leftover Chinese…and wings…and regular Snapple…and Chex Mix…and….


Playlists, New Artists and Music

As much as we hate to admit it, our boyfriends totally knew who Kendrick Lamar was before we did. And his indie band suggestion is pretty good.


Hoodies

No, we didn't go to ______ (insert his alma matter here). We just like how cuddly his sweatshirt is. And it looks way cuter on our smaller frame.


Opinions on Sports

Remember the time we loved the Giants, then met our new boyfriend and switched to the Jets? We drop the one line we overheard our boyfriend exclaim to his buddy and bought matching jerseys when we went to the Heat game together.


Underwear

Boxer-briefs double as boy shorts when we're lounging around or blow-drying our hair. Just don't wear them to work or class please.


Illicit Substances

He wouldn't let us open the door for the big, scary drug dealer all by ourselves. Plus, he hates admitting that we're bigger stoners than he is.


Oversized Sweaters

Like hoodies, oversized sweaters are desirable items. They're not only trendy for fall fashion, but also way more legitimate when they come from our actual boyfriend instead of from J.Crew.


Alcohol

Our taste for Jamison is directly correlated to drunk nights at our boyfriends' apartments.


Vintage T-Shirts

Oldies but goodies. These are always noticeably missing. When confronted, deny, deny, deny.


Deodorant

Stronger than ours. Smells better than ours. We should probably just buy Old Spice for ourselves.


Blazers

Bonus if they're actually from his real prep school.


One Article of Clothing We Are NOT Allowed to Steal and Is NEVER Cool to Wear: Mesh Shorts

This just wreaks of Sophomore year walks of shame. Plus, they are totally unattractive unless we plan on playing a game of pick-up basketball with some thugs and Samantha Ronson.

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Laura Argintar

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