'The Daily Show' Segment On Campus Sexual Assault Shows How School Are Failing Students

"The Daily Show" is all about showing how sometimes, we suck so much at responding to the most important issues of our day.

Its segment on sexual assault follows in a similar vein, with Jon Stewart opening the conversation about a recent incident at James Madison University, in which three male students were caught on video assaulting a female student, but were only expelled after they graduated (despite the fact that this was brought to the administration's attention well before these guys got their diplomas).

In a harsh and sad truth, Stewart points out that JMU isn't alone in its lenient behavior of punishing its convicted instigators of sexual violence.

He points out that there are currently 55 colleges and universities under investigation, and takes issue with the fact that some officials are doling out punishments as ridiculous as "writing a book report."

What the f*ck — are colleges trying to incentivize sexual assault?!

The next "campus safety dos and don'ts" highlighted in the clip are so funny you want to cry for real — like, why should women have to watch out for roofies when guys' only concern is not drinking beer before liquor?

For guys, the rule is to be careful of falling asleep on a couch, lest someone draw a dick on their face. For women, they have to be careful not to fall asleep on a couch for fear that someone will put a dick in their face... or worse.

Watch on for a smart social commentary delivered with a humorous spin.