‘I’m A Slob’: The 10 Signs You’re Messy But Not Dirty
There is a vast distinction between being messy and being dirty. Dirty implies a lack of showering, despite my testaments against it, it’s something we all do (yes, I do shower).
Being messy implies something greater; it refers to those days you come home from work and rip your button up off and leave it on the floor until laundry day approaches; it’s leaving piles of water glasses on your night table and knowing exactly where your headphones are, despite being buried underneath a pile of clothes.
It’s a lifestyle that few can achieve, but once you do, it’s an impressive thing. Yes, impressive. I may not have hung my favorite hoodie up in a month, but I know exactly where, in my war zone of a bedroom, it hides. The idea of being messy, especially in this case, is simply that things don’t get put away where they should, when they should.
There are many things to take into consideration when determining if a person is dirty or messy. Messy is a pile of dishes in the sink; dirty is food stuck on the counter. Messy is moving things around to “organize them,” while dirty usually involves a sponge and some Clorox. Read along as we delve into this much-debatable topic.
1. Your Bedroom Floor
Personally, I haven’t seen my bedroom floor since the day I moved in. Just kidding, but there is a span of approximately three days when you can usually see the actual floor of my bedroom.
Between work and afternoon activities, there just doesn’t really seem to be enough time to do a massive clean up. At the end of the day, it’s much more desirable to fall into your unmade bed than it is to clear the sh*t off your floor.
As long as the only things sprawled out across your floor are clothing items and not dirty dishes, you fall into the messy department. Congratulations.
2. Water Bottles/Dishes
Once the amount of water bottles and dishes in your room has bypassed double digits, you have encroached upon dirty territory.
There is a big difference between a pasta bowl and a water glass, but regardless, things that belong in the kitchen should not be chilling in your room. For some reason, water bottles love to spend time under the bed.
3. Your Bed
Who has time in the morning to make their bed as they’re rushing off to work? Not me, that’s for sure. Honestly, what’s the point if you’re just going to get back into it, anyway? How many of you out there have ever slept on top of your covers to avoid rustling the sheets? Don’t lie; we’ve all done it.
4. Your Closet
The best part of having a closet is the fact that it comes equipped with a door — aka, the mess disappears. Closets are an ecosystem all their own.
How do you decide what is worthy to hang up and what gets folded? Ugh, life is so difficult. And what about shoes? Those things get tossed around a closet like nothing else.
5. Your Kitchen
Having dishes piled up is fine as long as they have already been rinsed. However, if there’s dried ketchup along the sides of your sink, that is just plain filthy.
If you could prepare a meal with the remnants left in your sink, you know it has far exceeded the realm of messy.
6. Your Bathroom
The bathroom is a unique room in a house or an apartment that brings about its own set of messy problems. Hair clogs the drain, toothpaste gets stuck in the sink and soap spills are the real deal.
The sink is basically a holding cell for your spit and toothpaste and should probably be cleaned daily. Oops.
7. Miscellaneous Clutter
You walk right into your home and immediately drop your coat and your bag, either on the kitchen island or your couch.
Chances are you don’t live alone because, let’s be serious, who can afford that sh*t in this day and age? So, you probably have twice or triple the clutter because your roommates are doing the exact same thing.
8. Your Laundry
Laundry is an issue in and of itself. Who has the time to devote to waiting out an entire cycle? If you are fortunate enough to have a washer/dryer unit in your apartment, well, good for you!
For everyone else whose machines reside in the basement of their apartment building, this sh*t blows. Of course there is always the option of sending it out to be done for about 75 cents per pound, but that is not a luxury for everyone.
Figuring out the best way to get your laundry done is only half the battle; the other half is WTF to do with it when it’s done. Of course the obvious answer is to put it away, but let’s be real, it’s either going to sit in a pile somewhere in your room or sleep with you in bed. Besides, only you can determine what’s clean and what’s not.
9. Your Bag
You have receipts overflowing; you can hear your keys, but you can’t find them; there’s a pile of sand at the bottom, but you haven’t seen a beach in years.
How the hell does that pile even accumulate? Maybe it’s due to the various pieces of opened gum that are stuck to the bottom.
10. Your life
Your wallet is disheveled, you’re massively hungover, your iTunes hasn’t been updated since 2007 and your remote is in your pillowcase. It sounds like cleaning up your life should be your priority. Besides, everything else can just be shoved in a corner.
Top Photo Courtesy: Favim