Why Gen-Y Girls Need To Stop Taking Relationship Advice From Their Friends
Whether it is the crux of our generation, or our gender, many girls out there in Gen-Y have an extremely difficult time making decisions. Whether it's choosing which restaurant to eat at, or which shoes to buy, it seems like nearly every decision we make needs a second, third and fourth opinion.
When it comes to food and shoes, outside opinions probably don't hurt, especially from an expert in that area. However, females today seem to take this same advice-seeking behavior and use it when it comes to their relationships, and that is where the trouble starts.
Why is it such a bad idea to take relationship advice from friends? We all have our own feelings, opinions and thoughts based off of our experiences. Our relationship histories have left most, if not all of us, somewhat jaded when it comes to men.
It's basically impossible to give a friend advice without tapping into our own personal “well of knowledge,” which is really just a well of experience more than likely tainted with the wrongdoings of all our exes.
Our girlfriends always have our best interest at heart and they are trying to protect us. But the problem is, protect us from what? Not every guy is going to be the dickhead that her ex was; not every guy needs to have those same rules applied to him.
“Should I text him back?”
“DON'T TEXT HIM BACK FIRST. YOU HAVE TO WAIT AT LEAST 36 MINUTES BEFORE YOU ANSWER HIM! Ew. He is just not worth it.”
The advice our friends give can be helpful, but it can also be really hurtful. Participating in a relationship like you are constantly on the defensive end might protect you from getting hurt, but it could end up damaging, if not ending, what could be a great thing.
Especially regarding texting, as so much can get lost in the mix when it comes to the sender's intention versus how it is perceived by the receiver.
There are a million made up rules that our generation has somehow come up with over years of being glued to this device, and many of them do not have any valid meaning (e.x. Who should text who first?; How many y's in a “heyyy” determine sexual interest?).
My advice (no pun intended): Keep the quest for advice to red or white wine, sushi or — actually that is never a question; it's always sushi. When it comes to your relationship, do your best to leave your own emotional baggage behind and don't let anyone else's in.
Judge your relationship off of your own instincts and what feels right to you in the moment. Make decisions based off of the way the guy has handled himself in person and based off of the confidence you feel in the relationship, rather than what your friends are telling you to do.
In the end, no one is going to know your relationship, or how you should handle it, better than you do. Trust yourself to make the right decisions and more than likely, you'll do just that.
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