The women of our generation can never win. Everything we do earns us a label we don’t want: slut, whore, virgin, innocent, stupid, bitch, “bro” — you name it, we’ve heard it at some point in our lives. Unless she learns not to give a sh*t what people think or say, a woman has to be strategic with each and every step she takes, making sure that it doesn’t get twisted and ruin her “image” among men. This bullsh*t needs to come to an end.
Just yesterday, my guy friend made the most misogynistic argument to me that I have ever heard. He said something like, “listen Jess, a woman can do whatever she wants sexually. That is her prerogative. However, I will never marry that woman. I think I can speak for most men when I say that a dude doesn’t want to walk down the aisle with a woman knowing that the guests have ‘hit it.’ A man wants a woman who is untouched, therefore he knows where she’s been and he can brag about her without his friends being like, ‘yeah bro, I got that first though.’”
I didn’t even want to waste my energy responding to that, but of course I couldn’t resist. I told him guys are really lucky that women don’t think that same way. If we did, we probably wouldn’t marry 90 percent of the men in this world. If you are allowed to have sex whenever you want, why aren’t women allowed to do the same thing? Why is it that we consider it equal if a man’s ‘count’ is 20 more than that of a woman’s? That makes no f*cking sense. The only reason why it makes sense is that the unwritten rules of our society control us. And I’m sorry, but why would any woman want to “save herself” for a man that thinks about women this biased and outdated way?
Why do men see women as a prize? We are not looking to be won. We just want to live our lives however we want and maybe meet someone who is down to live it with us somewhere along the road. We all pretend that we encourage the motto, “Do what makes you happy,” yet we all judge each other for doing just that. The most absurd part is that men pressure women to have sex and not to have sex at the same damn time.
How about this? Everyone have sex when you want to, and don’t have sex when you don’t want to. It’s as simple as that. Some women have sex to satisfy men, others just do it because they enjoy it. Let them be. I’m sure men couldn’t handle the pressure of being judged whenever they had sex.
Women aren’t only more susceptible to judgment based on their sex count, but also in other ways. How much or how little we drink, how we dress and how we speak are all characteristics that are highly susceptible to judgment by men. Everything people do is a mechanism of self-expression. If they feel that they can’t express themselves for fear of judgment caused by an inferiority complex, then one of two things will happen: they’ll say “f*ck the haters,” stay true to themselves and deal with the judgment or, the second option, compromise themselves to please others. We shouldn’t have to choose between those two.
Women don’t want to stand for that sh*t, so we respond by doing whatever the f*ck we want and “yolo-ing.” Admittedly, some women take it too far, but it all comes from the same place. Women and men are never going to be on the same page until men learn to accept the fact that it is a level playing ground. It’s the 21st century, so start adjusting to it.
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