6 Things You Should Never Stop Asking For In Your Relationship
Relationships are give and take. You give your time, thoughts, consideration, care and love to your partner -- and then you expect something in return.
But people are different. Some of us give more, while others give less. Some expect to receive more, while others are more than OK with receiving less than they give.
Sometimes, what we're willing to give and accept in return doesn't align with how much our lover is willing to give and accept. When this happens, the relationship becomes filled with heated arguments, frustrating emotions and more tears than smiles.
This is why communication is key. You need to keep an open dialogue between yourself and the person you love. You need to always want to learn more about each other, to always want to understand him or her a little better in order to make the necessary adjustments to keep the love alive. This may sound exhausting, but if you're with the right person, it shouldn't feel that way.
Don't expect your lover to read your mind. Soul mates or not, you can't expect your partner to always be in tune with your wants and needs; your partner has his or her own life they need to worry about as well. Talk to your partner and ask for whatever it is you need. Make it easier for BOTH of you.
It's funny. If we all just learned to use our words and ask for the things we want in life, we'd all be a whole lot happier. Countless relationships fail because neither person asks for what they want. People are either too afraid to ask or think they shouldn't have to ask.
Well, that's wrong. Not only should you ask, but you need to ask. In fact, there are some things you should never stop asking for in a relationship. Here are a few.
1. Consideration
Being in a relationship with someone means being considerate. Sure, you can split decisions to make things more efficient. However, you should be part of all the important decisions.
Don't be afraid to let your partner know you want to be a larger part of the decision-making process.
2. Time
In this day and age, just about everyone has passions and goals they're pursuing outside of the relationship. Finding the right balance between work and love life is the only way to achieve happiness.
If you're not getting enough time with the person you love, let him or her know. Of course, be considerate of what he or she wants to accomplish, and make compromises when acceptable. But if things are crossing a line, then let your partner know.
People think love will last no matter what, but nothing could be further from the truth. If you allow yourself to spend too much time apart, the space you create will become permanent.
3. Presence
The only thing worse than having a lover that's never there is having one that's not there mentally when he or she is there physically.
Noticing the person you love isn't there with you in the moment hurts like hell. You finally have some time together, yet it feels like you're even further apart. It's not always easy to shut off all the crap going on in our livest, but these moments make life worth living.
Ask your partner to be with you when he or she is with you, to really try to focus on the two of you at that very second. Don't just do it for you; do it for the one you love.
4. Empathy
You'd think we'd be able to always empathize with the one we love. And usually, we're good at it. That is, until life gets in the way.
At the end of the day, we're egocentric beings. We live life through our own eyes and no one else's. Yet being in a romantic relationship means we need to do our best to put ourselves in the shoes of the person we love.
Empathy is the channel love flows through. It's the way our souls communicate, the connection allowing for that initial spark. It's also something that we need to remember to keep working on, especially when our personal lives become convoluted by trivialities.
Remind the person you love that he or she needs to always try to understand how you're feeling.
5. Novelty
Relationships start falling apart the moment we decide we're happy with things exactly as they are. This is not to say you shouldn't be happy with the way things are, because you should be, but you should always be aiming to experience new things -- together.
What's the goal of your relationship? If it's to get married, have kids and grow old together, then your relationship is going to fail. Big goals are certainly important, but what's more important are the little goals we can create for ourselves everyday.
Passion thrives on novelty. It's comfort and complacency that kills. If things are starting to feel a bit bland, don't be afraid to ask to spice things up.
6. Effort
At the end of the day, the only thing you can really ask for is true effort.
People aren't perfect. You're just as flawed as your better half. We make mistakes. We lose touch with ourselves, so losing touch with the relationship is only a natural conclusion. We spend most of our lives losing ourselves and finding ourselves all over again. Why would you think a relationship is any different?
This is not about how far things seem to be drifting away from you. This is about how much of an effort you're both making to keep the love you have alive. If you don't think your partner is making an effort, then say so. Ask him or her to put you ahead of all the other things he or she has going on.
Of course, be reasonable and willing to compromise. But help your partner understand that without an effort, there's no real reason to stay part of each other's lives.
