Here Are 7 Essential Relationship Deal-Breakers If You're Looking For 'The One'
When we enter the world of dating as a teenager, it is pretty easy to overlook certain things.
A bit reckless with money? No big deal. Not ready for serious conversations about the future? Yeah, we can table that for now.
But then, we quickly grow up and before we know it, we find ourselves dating in our late 20s and early 30s, and it's an entirely different ballgame.
That impending future means certain things become a lot more important than they used to be.
In my opinion, there are certain things that need to be relationship deal-breakers once you hit your 30s and you're in search of "the one."
1. If a person avoids change like the plague
We've all experienced it: the person who refuses to change. It can be kind of cute when you are younger, but I am sorry, now it's time to get over it.
Relationships absolutely, positively, without a shadow of a doubt require change on both parts. No two people fit together like a perfect puzzle, so you are going to have to adjust.
I am not saying you need to be willing to give up who you are, but being open to self-growth, learning and, yes, potentially change, is too important to ignore in a serious relationship.
2. If a person has no clear direction
You do not need to have a 10-year plan written and implemented, but you do need to have an idea of what you want and where you are going.
At a minimum, you need to have some stability in place for right now as you continue to figure out the details of what you want.
At this point in life, taking a risk on someone who has no idea of a plan for the future is just too scary.
3. If a person is living at home
I have to admit, I have been forgiving of this in the past.
I get the idea of saving, or if it's a temporary thing in support of a concrete purpose (like saving up a downpayment on a house) , but if you are just hanging out at home because it's convenient and easy, then we have a problem.
When you are in your 30s, you need your own space to allow a relationship to actually grow.
4. If a person is emotionally unavailable
Listen, I get it. Emotions can be tough and a lot of people would much rather avoid them. But there comes a point in life where you have to realize that you have emotions and you can't run away from them.
You can't truly get to know someone and decide if you can have a future together if you can't share your feelings.
You can't truly get to know someone and decide if you can have a future together if you can't share your feelings.
It gets really old having to tiptoe around important conversations because your SO can't handle them or isn't even willing to at least try.
5. If someone isn't ready to throw in his or her party hat
At some point, we all have to realize the days of getting sloppy drunk and recovering the entire next day are over.
Don't let me stop you from having some fun and enjoying a night out with friends, but if it's a constant thing or something your partner can't live without, then it might be time to reevaluate things.
6. If you don't agree on children
This is a pretty big one.
By 30, you should have a pretty good idea if kids are in the cards for you or not, and you need to be adult enough to admit that to your partner.
If you both don't agree on that status of little ones, you have a tough decision to face.
Never assume you are going to change the other's opinion, so if you don't want the same things, then it might be best to find someone who does.
Never assume you are going to change the other's opinion, so if you don't want the same things, then it might be best to find someone who does.
7. If someone is afraid of commitment
No, no, I am not saying there needs to be wedding bells within a year, but both people should be able to be in a committed relationship.
If someone is not willing to make things official, then what the heck are you even doing?
You don't want to waste the next three years of your life on someone who doesn't know what they have, how great it is or how to actually make it a priority in their life.
