This Is The Best Way To Say ILY, Based On Your Partner’s Love Language

Realizing you’ve fallen in love with someone can be equal parts scary and exciting, but figuring out how to tell them can be straight-up nerve-wracking. Expressing love can be as simple as just saying it, or as grand as hiring a skywriting plane to write it in the sky. But if you want your partner to really feel your love, consider the best way to say “I love you” for their love language.

If you don’t know about the five love languages, they come from the book The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, and as he describes, they're the most common ways people communicate and receive love. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. If you want to factor your partner's love language into your “I love you,” the first step is to find out which one they are most fluent in. Perhaps they feel most loved when you set aside time just for them, or when they see you going out of your way to do thoughtful things for them. Maybe they love compliments, or to receive a heartfelt gift that lets them know you're thinking of them.

Whatever the case may be, knowing which love language speaks to them can help you feel more connected, as well as ensure that your "I love you" really resonates. With that in mind, here's the best way to tell your partner how much you care, based on their love language.

If their love language is words of affirmation...

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, that means they probably prefer verbal or written expressions of affection, including compliments, encouragement, and, of course, hearing that you love them often. While simply saying it can make your partner feel the love, you can make it extra special by writing it out with a Post-It note scavenger hunt. Write a reason you love them on each one, and leave them in places they're sure to find them, like in the pocket of their coat, a bedroom drawer, or the bathroom mirror.

If their love language is quality time...

Those whose love language is quality time feel the most loved when their partner sets aside time just to be with them. Blocking out all other distractions and just being present (and doing so enthusiastically) sends a powerful message to your partner that you care for them. If you're ready to say "I love you," you might want to book a vacation (or staycation) for two where you can bond and simply be together. That way, you're already saying "I love you" with your actions, in addition to your words.

If their love language is physical touch...

If your partner’s love language is physical touch, chances are they find any excuse to cozy up next to you. They feel most loved and connected when they're giving and receiving physical affection from their partner, so make sure you're up close and personal when you tell them how you feel. A great time to say "I love you" can be right before bed, when you’re cuddling and about to fall asleep. Take advantage of a moment when you're feeling close and safe to whisper in their ear. Guaranteed sweet dreams to follow.

If their love language is acts of service...

Those with acts of service as their love language feel the most cared for when their partner puts their expressed feelings into action. It can be something as small as getting them a cup of coffee in the morning, or running errands for them simply to make their day better. They truly believe that actions speak louder than words, so an “I love you” paired with a small act of kindness is going to have the biggest impact. For instance, bringing your partner breakfast in bed with a little love note for dessert will touch their heart.

If their love language is receiving gifts...

Of all the love languages, receiving gifts is probably the most misunderstood, because it's not really about the material item, but rather the thought and effort that went into it. The gift is a physical representation of how much you care, that you were thinking of them, and that you were willing to put in the effort to give them something heartfelt. Small, thoughtful gifts are just as (if not more) impactful as one with a big price tag. A small piece of jewelry like a ring or necklace, or even a watch with an engraving can both figuratively and literally say "I love you.” Every time they touch or look at it, they'll be reminded of how much you care.

While there are plenty of right ways to say "I love you," factoring in your partner’s love language can ensure they not only receive your message, but also feel seen and understood in a way that makes it that much more beautiful.