How To Tell If You Actually Like Him Or You're Just Caught Up In Cuffing Season
I always get lonely-ish in fall.
The cold sets in, I retire my party girl ways and all I want to do is stay in my bed (preferably with a cuddle buddy).
For the most part, I take pride in my single status. But something about the cold breeze, oversized sweaters and basic AF fall activities make me want to find someone — anyone I can call my own, for the season, anyway.
Yes, cuffing season makes us all want the same thing, more or less. As my one guy friend put it, "Fall is prime for fuckboys." They scour bars and clubs looking for vulnerable girls to prey on because they know have this urge to be in the warm arms of of a guy.
So say you've found yourself a dude to cuddle with and are spending your weekends with him.
How can you actually tell if you're dating him because you like him or because you just want someone to hibernate under the covers with?
Here's how...
If you're hiding him from the world, you don't really like him.
Do you find yourself wanting to show him off to your friends, or do you only call him up after a long day at work, when only you and the contents of your bedroom are going to see him?
The moment I knew my cuffing buddy was just a cuffing buddy was when I invited him to a bar my friends and I were at and didn't let him stay. When he walked in the bar, I grabbed him by the arm and walked right out, without even introducing him to the people I love.
When you're with the right person, you won't want to hide him at all.
Whether it's because you're embarrassed by him or, deep down, you know this thing you have with him isn't going anywhere real, hiding the guy you're with usually isn't a good sign.
When you're with the right person, you won't want to hide him at all. In fact, it's going to take every ounce of energy in you not to show him off to the world.
If you're in a sex haze, you don't really like him.
Ah, the sex haze. I was once having such stellar sex, I couldn't see or think clearly.
I'll tell you the moment I knew my feelings for my fuck buddy weren't as real as I thought they were, I knew I was in a sex haze.
He and I spent a night not getting physical with each other, and as I lay there in his arms, watching an HBO show, I realized something: I didn't want to be there with him. I wanted to be out with my friends or just alone, instead.
Are you able to separate yourself from the sex? Do you and this guy get lost in conversation — real conversation — whether it's pillow talk or over dinner?
Or do you find it's only your body that misses his body and not your mind that misses his mind? If you only think about him when you're going to bed, or if you don't think about him when you're busy as hell, then he isn't "the one." He's just the one for the moment.
If you don't think about him when you're busy as hell, he isn't the one.
Usually, when we think of someone only when we're feeling lonely, that person doesn't have any real place in our lives... or in our hearts.
If your feelings for him die when fall/winter ends, you don't like him.
Spring gives me a skip in my step. I'm a new woman when spring comes around.
Spring also makes me feel less needy and, once again, sexually liberated. I'm carefree, hopeful and ready to see what else the world has in store for me.
So it wasn't much of a surprise to me when I ended my very own fling sometime around Valentine's Day, still in the dead of winter, but when spring was so close, I could smell it coming.
If you're cutting your man loose around the same time, it's obvious that you just wanted another body in your bed for the cold months. (This is why stuffed animals and obnoxiously large body pillows really come in handy, guys.)
When the sun's shining, the men look freshly polished and you find yourself no longer needing your cuffing buddy, you'll realize you never really liked him to begin with.
And you know what? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Letting your bang buddy go might just leave some room in your heart (and your bed) to find true love.
