9 Expert-Level Sex Positions To Try When You’re Craving Something New
Study up.
No matter how much you love the basic missionary position (it’s a classic for a reason!), sometimes it’s fun to spice up your sex life with something new. Whether it’s a kink you’ve kept hidden, a new toy that recently caught your eye, or a difficult sex position promising to take you on a wild ride, there are so many ways to inject newness into the bedroom when the classics start to feel a little worn out.
San Francisco–based sex expert and therapist Celeste Hirschman, MA, co-founder of the Somatica Method of sex, says it’s totally normal to crave some new positions with your partner, especially if you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship. “Monogamy can get boring, and creativity is so important to keep your sex life strong,” she tells Elite Daily. “You need to be consciously making an effort to try new things together.”
Aside from the fact that it can be a super fun challenge, when it comes to difficult sex positions, sometimes that old adage really applies: The journey is the destination. Hirschman says the process of figuring out how to make expert-level positions work — together — can do amazing things for your emotional bond. “The best thing about trying new, fun sex positions is the novelty, the playfulness, the co-creation,” she says. “That sense of collaboration can be very intimacy- and trust-building.”
On the other hand, sex educator Goody Howard says adding expert-level sex positions to your repertoire can be like “ordering live octopus” at a restaurant. You do it for the novelty, for the thrill, and for the bragging rights — but do you actually want to eat that thing?
“People usually try these daredevil sex positions out of boredom,” she says. “They want to try something different, like how you try new foods on a whim.” But in truth, she says, just because a position is difficult doesn’t necessarily mean it’s any more fulfilling or pleasurable. The challenge is to find positions that are new and exciting but also full of orgasmic potential.
“‘Expert’ should mean the most pleasurable, but usually it’s just a stand-in for degree of difficulty or complication,” she explains. “Some of the simplest positions are extremely pleasurable because of the level of closeness, the negative space, and the ability to maintain rhythm. They’re not handstands or split lunges or whatever. People are out here having sex for sport, not for pleasure, and that’s a fool’s errand in my mind.”
Difficult sex positions are also not always accessible for all body types and abilities — and what qualifies as a “difficult” position for one body might be less of a challenge for another. If you attempt a position where you can’t breathe or properly hold yourself up, Howard says it’s time to reassess. You don’t want to sacrifice your safety, pleasure, and focus just to impress your partner with your elastic abilities.
To execute an expert-level position, you don’t necessarily have to be doing handstands or holding your partner upside down — though if you’re physically capable, that’s certainly a possibility!
“There are lots of things that could make a position ‘expert’ level,” Howard explains. “If it requires a certain level of rhythm, that might be ‘expert’ level for some people — not everybody has rhythm! To be contorted all up and still thrust is a challenge. You can also incorporate tools and toys that up your game.”
One idea? Howard recommends playing around with a foam pillow wedge under your partner’s butt while you’re on top to elevate their penis or dildo as it’s entering you.
Read on for more expert-level sex positions that are all about your pleasure.
The Butterfly
For a modified missionary position, try lying on your back with your knees up to your chest while your partner enters you. Oooo, trés flexible!
Face-Up And Face-Up
If you’ve ever wanted to feel like a human puzzle piece, this position is for you. Start off with your partner lying flat on their back. You’ll lie down on top of them, also on your back, and maneuver their penis or dildo upwards into your vagina. For an extra steamy time, have them kiss your back and neck while you grind on them from above.
Wheelbarrow/Seated Wheelbarrow
A bit of arm strength is mandatory for the wheelbarrow, but wow is it worth the extra reps at the gym. You can try this one standing or sitting (both are a challenge!) facing away from your partner. If standing, you’ll be inverted, with your hands on the floor while your partner holds your legs in the air. If sitting, have your partner place their butt on the edge of a bed, couch, or chair. Sit on their lap facing away, then gradually work your hands to the floor and your legs straight out behind your partner’s hips. They’ll have an amazing view of your tush, and you can grind to your heart’s content.
69 Standing Up
Porn star status, achieved! If your partner is muscular enough — and if you have the stomach for it — have them pick you up and flip you upside down, so that your mouth is by their genitals and their mouth is by yours. Suck, lick, kiss, finger, stroke, and whatever else suits your fancy.
Oral Sex On The Shoulders Against The Wall
Ready to feel like you’re flying? Have your partner lift you up onto their shoulders facing them, so your genitals are in their face. Then, have them press you up against a wall behind you while they eat you out. What’s the view like from way up there?
Upstanding Straddler
For the easiest execution, straddle your partner while seated on a bed, couch, or chair. When they stand up, they’ll support you with their arms while you ride them.
Wrapped Lotus
This one is basically the Upstanding Straddler without any standing up. Have your partner sit criss-cross applesauce (you know the drill) and then climb aboard their lap, facing them. Fair warning: This one is more challenging than it looks! Stretch out your hips together beforehand because it requires some solid hip flexor flexibility.
Scissoring/The Spider
Scissoring is a magical position that allows you and your partner to get your genitals really close together. (And yes, it is totally real.) There are a million ways to scissor, but it’s a little more accessible when your legs are bent. Try facing each other, knees bent and arms back for support. Scooch together until your genitals are touching or until they’ve entered you with their penis or dildo. You can place your feet on either side of their hips, or you can interlock your legs so that you’re both lying on your sides. Grind away!
The L
You may be in the shape of an L, but get ready for a big W — and an even bigger O. Lay on the edge of a bed with your legs out straight to the side, so your body is in the shape of an L. Have your partner stand and enter you from the edge of the bed, gripping your hips for extra support (and extra spice).
Experts:
Celeste Hirschman, MA, San Francisco–based sex expert and therapist, co-founder of the Somatica Method of sex
Goody Howard, sex educator
