Emily Hampshire’s First Date Horror Story Is So Sad

Everyone has bad first dates, and Emily Hampshire is no exception. The Schitt’s Creek star recently opened up about her first Tinder date post-divorce, and it was an emotional one. (ICYMI, Hampshire married Matthew Smith in 2006, and Smith filed for divorce nearly 10 years later in January 2015.) According to Hampshire, she cried so hard she ended the night with ruined makeup and a sinus infection.

Hampshire gave Us Weekly all of the tear-filled details. “I was freshly divorced and probably not ready to put myself out there. Tinder had just come out, so I started swiping,” she explained. “I see this guy sans tiger. And he looks clean and, like, employable and not a serial killer. So, like all the boxes: check, check, check.” (I have the same checklist on Tinder, BTW.)

Despite him meeting all of her Tinder criteria, the date started off on the wrong foot — partly because Hampshire felt uncomfortable in her outfit. “I don’t remember the complete ensemble because my memory is trying to block this traumatic night out of my memory, but it involved like skinny spandexy jeans and heels,” she explained. “The only thing I hate more than both those things is both of them together.”

Unfortunately, the discomfort didn’t end there. Hampshire also remembered choosing the seat “right next to [her date]” despite there being “other options.” IMO, an awkward seating arrangement is pretty hard to recover from, but her date gave it his best effort. Hampshire recalled that he said “something nice about the way I looked, which was very nice and it’s normal of him, and I proceeded to cry.” Yikes.

Safe to say that the date was going, um, not well. “I don’t know if it’s clear to you, but the worst part of this worst date is me,” Hampshire quipped. Even while she bawled her eyes out, her date was “so nice” and “so patient.”

She explained, “He laughed when snot blew out of my nose and hugged me. When he hugged me [with] his very clean white shirt, I basically left, like, an imprint of the joker face on his white shirt.” TLDR: Her date handled the situation like a champ.

Although the date wasn’t a winner, they actually became really good friends. “To this day, this is years later, we laugh about the snot bubble. My first ever Tinder date, Ari, is still my dear friend,” she added. Just because there wasn’t a romantic connection doesn’t mean the date was a total loss. “I lost my dignity. I also got a sinus infection from crying that hard. But I got a friend. I got a really great thing.”

If only all bad first dates could end like that.