Francesca Farago’s Messy Breakups Are Behind Her

Francesca Farago doesn’t remember the name of her favorite love song. She needs to ask her boyfriend, Jesse Sullivan, what it’s called. A minute later, he texts her back: “When You’re Home” by Tyler Shaw. The song goes, “We’ll never be alone / ‘Cause when you’re home, I’m home.”

This surprise look into their relationship is a noticeably different version of Farago’s love life than the one fans saw during her 2019 stint on Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle, where she and Harry Jowsey had no problem chipping (or kissing) away at the communal prize of $100,000. Her TikTok followers, though, have been afforded a peek into her real life. Farago, 29, and Sullivan, 33, post behind-the-scenes videos about their relationship and date nights to a combined following of 6.2 million. (Sullivan has gained a huge TikTok audience for his videos about trans identity and parenting.)

“We're just so in love, and I feel that’s obvious with what we post,” Farago tells Elite Daily. “Some couples share a filtered version of the happy times, but they don't post anything negative. We actually don't have any negative times. It's all positive.”

Below, Farago shares her thoughts on Too Hot To Handle, how she knew Sullivan was “the one,” and her controversial breakup advice.

Elite Daily: Going back to your Too Hot To Handle days, what was your biggest takeaway from your experience on the show?

Francesca Farago: Too Hot To Handle was a slap in the face. It made me see how naive I was being. I was letting people swindle me a bit. When I watched it back, I realized that not everyone has your best interest in mind. You have to fend for yourself and take what people say with a grain of salt.

I feel a little bit detached from the whole situation now because it was so long ago. I don't watch the new seasons. Every time I see a trailer, I get a little shiver because I know how hard it is to be put in that situation. I know it's been so long so it shouldn't really affect me the way it does. But I'm in such a happy spot in my life. All in all, I'm glad it happened, and I am very grateful for the platform.

ED: What’s it like seeing videos of your time on the show pop up on social media?

FF: It's forever going to haunt me. There are a lot of accounts making comparisons between new couples on the show to me and my ex, Harry. I still get comments to this day, "Where's Harry? What happened?" I had to block certain people's names from my comments because I don't want to see it.

ED: Was it challenging for you to move on when fans were chiming in, still shipping you and your ex?

FF: Yeah, we broke up and then got back together a year and a half ago. I think the main reason I was willing to give that relationship another chance was I — along with everyone who watched — was in love with the idea of finding my partner on the show. Even though I was being treated poorly, the fantasy of the relationship was taking over my rational thought.

ED: You mentioned in a recent TikTok an ex reaching back out to you. Can you share any more details on that?

FF: I'm not going to say who it was, but it was someone I was in a more public relationship with. I get exes reaching out to me all the time. It's a little bit satisfying. Obviously, there's a little devil on your shoulder that's like, "Haha, they haven't fully moved on." Or maybe they have and they just want to be cordial.

ED: How did you and Jesse meet and start dating?

FF: Last year, TikTok hired me to host an event for Pride Month. It was over Zoom. It was a TikTok live event with Willow Smith and the app’s LGBTQ+ Trailblazers. I interviewed three people and Jesse was one of them. We met on Zoom and just fell in love very quickly.

I want to get engaged yesterday, to be honest.

ED: You’ve been really open about posting your relationship with Jesse on TikTok. Are there aspects you choose not to share online?

FF: It's pretty easy with our relationship because it's so healthy and positive. There's no negativity surrounding it at all. We do keep certain things private, things we know are going to get a lot of backlash because there are still people who are anti-LGBT. The transphobia can be real. We try and avoid posting anything that's going to get us a lot of hate, but for the most part we're real and raw.

ED: How do you deal with hate comments about your love life?

FF: Most of the comments aren't really directed towards me. They're more directed towards him because there are a lot of people who didn’t grow up with queer people around them. I delete the ones that are really mean, but some of them I'll leave up just to see who's going to like it. Then, I go through the likes on the comment and block those people. But really, you just learn to ignore it.

ED: How did you realize that Jesse was "the one"?

FF: I don’t remember one “aha” moment. It's just the connection we had right off the bat. I was like, "This is unlike anything I've ever had before." We were long-distance for a while, and then we broke up for a little bit and dated other people before getting back together. Everything that happened just made us more sure. I'm definitely super happy, and I'm in the best relationship I've ever been in my entire life.

ED: You’ve made several TikToks about wanting to get engaged. Do you have a timeline in mind for that milestone?

FF: I want to get engaged yesterday, to be honest. I ask him every day. He had a ring designed and then I changed my mind about what ring I wanted, so he had to redesign it. He's in the process of doing that. But the sooner the better. We know we're going to get engaged and get married. He has a child, we’re starting a family, and we have animals together.

ED: What's the most meaningful lesson you learned from your current relationship?

FF: It's so simple, but being there for each other no matter what. If there's an argument or a disagreement, approaching that person in a positive way has been key for us. What has helped us multiple times, because we never argue, is baby talk. We talk literally like children. Instead of being aggressive, we just communicate in baby talk, and it works.

ED: What's a fear you used to have about dating or relationships that you've overcome?

FF: Opening up your relationship to the public is a little bit scary. My ex, Harry, and I had an online feud for two years. He would do an interview and say something negative about me, and then I would do the same. It was like a war, and it was terrible.

Once I realized that Jesse is my forever person, that fear went away, because I don't have to worry about a breakup or any messy drama.

ED: What about your best piece of breakup advice?

FF: You probably shouldn't do this, but I'm a big rebound person. I know you need to be in your healing era and a lot of people need to be independent. But in my experience, when me and Jesse had broken up, I got into a relationship with someone else instantly to help me get over him. Quickly I learned that person wasn't what I wanted and I missed Jesse. Then, we got back together. Rebounding is great to either get over the person or make you realize what you had.

ED: What is one misconception people might have about your love life?

FF: When Jesse and I started dating, there were some people messaging him to be careful, as if I was using him. I guess that could be a misconception, that we're just this facade and we're there for views. But that's the classic misperception when you're in the public eye.

ED: What does love mean to you?

FF: Having a love-filled life is the most fulfilling way to live. Everyone always wonders, what's the meaning of life? Why are we here? The only thing that's going to make you fulfilled is surrounding yourself with things and people you love.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.