Picture this: You met a new guy. You've gone on several dates together, and you're falling head over heels for him. You decide it's time he meets your friends. After all, when you're happy, you want to share that happiness with the people you love. So, you introduce him to your friends.
Everything seems to be going very well, but later, your friends all drop a bomb on you. They don't like him.
Now, you're probably wondering what went wrong. You thought everything was going so great, so what happened? While we may be quick to write off our friends' opinions as jealousy or the result of a giant misunderstanding, there might actually be a good reason as to why they feel the way they do.
Here are four reasons your friends don't approve of your new guy:
1. It's personal.
Sometimes, people just don't get along. Your friends and boyfriend may have zero in common. Their dislike may be rooted in a longtime rivalry or an isolated incident, or maybe there is a huge mismatch in personalities. Your boyfriend and friends won't always be besties.
2. He's cutting into your time with them.
If you're always bringing him along to dinners and activities you've planned with your friends, they may eventually grow to resent his presence no matter how much they might like him. Your friends want to spend time with you, not him. They also don't want to see you two engaging in PDA in front of them every five minutes.
Sure, it's OK to occasionally invite him to tag along with you and your friends, granted your friends are fine with it. On the other hand, if you're always bailing on your plans with friends to be with him instead, it's possible they feel like you've abandoned them. So, they'll probably blame him. Either way, make sure you follow the golden rule (sisters before misters) and spend as much boyfriend-free time with your besties as you can.
3. They think you can do better.
On paper, your boyfriend may be a great guy. He's sweet, he has a good job and he makes you laugh. You have great chemistry. Sometimes, our friends know better than we do about the kind of person we should be with. After all, who knows you better than your best friends?
It should be mentioned that if you constantly complain to your friends about all the annoying things he does and the problems you have in your relationship, then they're not going to have a favorable opinion of him or your relationship. It may also reinforce their opinion of the type of guy you should be with. This doesn't mean they think he's a terrible person, it just means they think there is someone out there who is a better match for you.
4. He's an assh*le.
This goes beyond your friends thinking you can do better (see number three). He's actually a terrible person, and it's apparent to everyone except for you. Sometimes we're so infatuated with our significant others that we become blind to everything else that's going on.
Maybe he's mean toward you. Maybe they see him hit on other women when he's not with you. Maybe he's taking advantage of you. Nobody wants to see her friend with someone who's simply not good enough for her.
Bottom line: Not all of your friends will like your boyfriend, and he probably isn't going to like all of your friends, either. You also shouldn't force your friends and boyfriend to get along, despite your desire for everyone to be one big, happy family. The best-case scenario you should hope for is that everyone learns to deal with each other.
When it comes to their opinions about your beau, your friends might have some valid points, and you should make a point to listen to what they have to say. And if they don't, you may face making the difficult choice between your friends and your boyfriend. Choose wisely.
