Relationships
Guys Reveal The Honest Reasons They're Actually Afraid Of Commitment
by Candice Jalili
Warner Bros. Television
At some point in all of our lives, we've been rejected by someone who was "afraid of commitment. "
Personally, I just thought it was a bullshit excuse used by people who couldn't come up with a better reason as to why they just weren't that into someone. But apparently, there are men out there who are, like, actually legitimately "afraid of commitment."
Don't believe me? Take it from the men themselves.
Read along as these 12 men admit what it is about commitment that leaves them so afraid:
People change.
Things change, people change, i shouldn't have to hop through hoops to no longer be with a person that I am not totally in love with or into anymore. Even with a long term relationship you tend to feel stuck cause you invested so much time, but at the end it's a lost cost fallacy
"What we want" is rarely "what I want."
Because 'what I want' has to become 'what we want'; but 'what we want' is very rarely 'what I want'. Source: LTR, engaged, homeowner... All my fears have come true.
Even the most amazing girl can get boring after a while.
Because variety is something that I always desire, there's noting more fulfilling than the first, second, third or maybe even fourth time I have sex with a girl. I'm not afraid of being hurt as much as I am of being trapped in a situation where I can't have that anymore. Even the most beautiful and stunning girl loses something special after some time passes. Maybe that will change as I get older and once I've had more experiences. That is why right now I'm chasing experiences and commitment makes me uneasy
The beginning is more fun.
I like sexual diversity, flirting, and many perks of single life. Also, I love the whole 'early dating' phase with a new girl when you get to know and discover who she is. Commitment (or monogamy) prevents me from doing these things and I hate having to rule out such an appealing part of life.
— n0ggy
If you don't have a desire for children, there's literally no point in marriage.
Because I've seen far, far more brutal divorces and unhappy excuses for marriages up close than 'good marriages'. As someone who does not want children, there is literally no point at all to it.
Divorce can screw you financially.
Divorce is so common, and I hate seeing how one person in the relationship gets screwed financially, and I don't want to be that person.
You never know how your feelings are going to change in the distant future.
I'm not afraid I just don't see it as worthwhile. What do I get out of committing? Also I don't believe I can make a promise about how I will feel in the distant future
— lbspredh
Getting emotionally attached to someone who might leave is scary.
I feel like no one could ever truely [sic] love me and because of this, I refuse to get emotionally attached to anyone for fear of them ever leaving my life.
Married men don't seem happy.
No married man that I know well has ever explicitly encouraged me to get married. I know a bunch of married men who have advised me to never get married. I've gotten this advice from people; jokingly, seriously, from a drunk advisor, and from a sober advisor. I prefer to learn from others' mistakes.
There's too much temptation.
Because I see a lot of other girls that I'd love to fuck throughout the day and I'm not ready to ignore all of them. Plus you might start to annoy me.
— seddTA
Marriage makes breaking up so much more difficult.
I've been engaged. I thought I was ready. I thought we were ready after five years together and we were going to be together for the long haul. We went through a rough patch and she ended up finding solace in someone else instead of working on things like I pushed for. I look back at that time and think that if we were married how much more difficult the break up would have been. I don't want to be stuck if someone else suddenly decides they don't want me anymore.
Seeing other unhappy people is scary.
I was never afraid of commitment. I was afraid of marriage, because so many married men I knew were unhappy, but were financially trapped because they couldn't afford divorce.
