Nice Ways To Break Things Off With Someone You've Only Kinda Been Dating

You and this person have been on, like, four dates. It's not enough to merit a whole sit-down breakup deal, but you can't really just casually stop talking to them, either. Basically, at this point, you owe them something a little less than a real bonafide breakup and a little more than a ghost. I like to think of it as a casual breakup. But, how to break up with a guy who you’ve only hung out with a few times? Easy. You tell him you're done and you give a short reason why.

The "telling him you're done" part is easy and self-explanatory. You say just any variation of "I can't do this anymore" via text, phone call, or in-person conversation (yikes). It's the "reason why" part of the process that gets a little tricky. But that's the most important part of it all! That's the part that saves the person from over-analyzing the cumulative 10 hours you spent together and trying to figure out what in the world they did wrong. You can't ditch that part.

So, if you’re trying to figure out how to break up with someone you just started dating, I made a list of 12 perfectly valid "reasons why" to go along with the "I can't do this" portion of your breakup.

I'm not a big fan of lying; I think it's bad karma. But odds are, if you're not interested in this person, one of these reasons will be a pretty solid explanation for why you need to break up. And none of them are really that offensive.

Not sure how to end things with a guy without completely demolishing their feelings? Pick one of these reasons that most relates to you, and tell them that is why you've got to move on. I promise it's way nicer than blowing them off without any explanation.

1. Tell them you're getting back together with your ex.

Maybe you guys aren't fully getting back together, but you're talking again and it's just too confusing for you to have this third party involved. Just be honest about it.

They might be frustrated at first, but eventually they'll feel better knowing the reason you ended things wasn't anything they did.

2. Tell them you've been super busy at work.

Of course, if you really liked them, you'd find a way to make them a priority despite your busy work schedule. But maybe the fact of the matter is you choose work over them at this point in your life. Just tell them that. They’ll read between the lines to figure out what that means in terms of your feelings for them.

3. Tell them you've met someone new.

Obviously, this one's tough to admit to someone who might have been only interested in you. But you need to be clear about the fact that although you like them and enjoyed the time you spent together, this new person is a better fit for you. It's just human nature. Nothing personal.

4. Tell them you need to focus on yourself right now.

Maybe you just got out of a relationship. Maybe you just went through some sort of personal drama. Maybe you just feel like you've totally lost touch with yourself.

The fact of the matter is you want to do you for now, and being in a relationship is obviously going to get in the way of that. Tell them that! I promise it doesn't make you sound selfish.

5. Tell them you aren't ready to get serious with anyone right now.

Warning: This has a strong chance of making someone who was already pretty into you fall head over heels in love with you. It also doesn't completely shut the door on them as it leaves room for a more casual relationship.

But, if what you're looking for is more time to date around and see whom you're into, this excuse could be the nicest way to do it without blatantly saying, "You're not enough."

6. Tell them you need more time to get over your ex.

Nobody wants to be with someone who's still in love with someone else. Furthermore, most people can relate to what it feels like to have a hard time getting over someone.

So just be honest! Not only will they understand, but they’ll be happy you told them.

7. Tell them you've got a lot going on in your life right now.

Maybe it's not just work or your ex or your family. Maybe it's everything.

If you have a ton on your plate right now, it's perfectly valid for you to not have room for a relationship on top of everything else. But don't just leave this person twisting in the wind while you figure out your life. Tell them you're busy and just don't have the time to give them the attention they deserve.

8. Tell them you want to focus on your friends for now.

You could be at a point in your life when you want to prioritize your friendships, and that's totally fine. I had a guy once tell me he couldn't have anything serious because, for now, his friends came first. And you know what? I respected it.

9. Tell them you don't think you're the right person for them.

Sometimes you just don't totally click with someone. And, odds are, if they’re not the right fit for you, you're also not the right fit for them.

Saying that you don't think you're right for them is basically a nicer (and still valid) way of saying you don't think they’re right for you.

10. Tell them you see this more as a friendship.

As far as being nice goes, this is probably the meanest. Sure, friendship sounds nice in theory because you like this person and you want to be friends with them! But put yourself in their shoes. Do you really want someone telling you they like your personality, but they're essentially not attracted enough to you to want anything more? No. That sucks.

So if you're doing this, make sure you let them know that you understand if they don’t want to be friends. As much as it sucks, the fact of the matter is it's the truth. And at least you're giving them the comfort of knowing their personality rocks?

11. Tell them you like them, but you're just not in the headspace to date right now.

Maybe you're going through that thing where liking this person is making you feel completely disoriented. Every interaction with them is driving you absolutely bonkers, and you're not sure if you're totally done with them, but you are sure you need a break from this emotional roller coaster. Tell them!

It's not like you're totally ending things; you're just saying you want to take a little break to get back in the right headspace.

12. Tell them you don't like them and explain to them why not.

This one's a little harder to muster up the courage to do, but I'd say it's arguably the nicest way out of them all.

If the reason you're over it is something they did and not something on your end, be straight up with them. Give them some constructive criticism. Let them know you didn't like how they handled meeting your friends for the first time, so next time they meet a potential partner’s friends for the first time, they’ll know to be a little more friendly.

Or let them know you felt like they were too aggressive, so next time they’ll know to be a little more laid back. Whatever the problem is, identify it and let them know it was big enough to be a deal breaker for you.