Look boys, I get it. Going down on a girl can be wildly, wildly intimidating. Women are fierce, fabulous creatures. And vaginas are like these epic, mystical wonderlands glittering in the distance. No one wants to travel to an epic, mystical wonderland without knowing what the hell they're doing or where the hell they're going.

You need a compass. You need a game plan. You need a guide. This is where I come in. Your trusty lesbian wing woman is here to help you navigate the art of women.

I get the fear. The first time I traveled down under, I was scared shitless, too (shh, let's keep that between us). But you know what? I eventually figured it out. And you can too, boys. I promise. And the best part is, going down on a girl is actually incredibly fun and extremely satisfying once you get past the all-consuming fear.

But lez be real, no one is just BORN understanding the art of the oral sex (except for lesbians, which is why I'm here to help you). You don't want to just recklessly go down on a girl with the ferocity in which you would devour a bloody steak and shot of whiskey. There is a delicate craft to eating out. In fact, going down on a girl isn't just eating out at some no name, shitty chain restaurant on the basic side of town.

Going down on a girl is more like making homemade, gorgeous, sweet, cupcakes that perfectly suit the palette of the girl. So, on this fine day, I'm going to teach you how to make the "perfect cupcake."

Put away that Easy-Bake Oven and throw away that boxed cake mix. Cupcakes this special need to be made from scratch.

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