If you want to know the truth, the number one thing I'm most scared of (more than having to give a speech in front of 500 people or even kicking the bucket one day), is the fear that I'm going to marry the wrong person.
It happens to people all the time.
The infamously reported divorce rate of 50 percent speaks to the fact that people marry someone they love at the time, but it doesn't mean their bond will last through financial crises or extramarital temptations.
In other words, you can never truly predict if the person you're all googly-eyed for right now will be the person you grow old with.
Life isn't that simple or predictable.
But, if you're still in the position of weighing the pros and cons of whether or not you should marry someone you've been dating for years, there are some ways you can figure that out.
Consider what these relationship experts — and one psychic — say are the best ways to know that you may be about to marry Mr. or Mrs. Right, or just Mr. or Mrs. Right Now:
1. Ask yourself this specific question.
People can know if they're marrying the wrong person if they ask themselves one question: Am I the best version of me when I am with this person? This is a pretty loaded question, as all couples will make sacrifices and compromises. So this is not to be answered via a selfish analysis where "best me" equals "I always get what I want." Rather, this question should really get at the core of who you are as a person and who you want to be. Marrying the right person will provide you with the partner and the support that lets you become who you are meant to be. Marrying the wrong person will prevent (or at least delay) you from achieving the best you possible.
— Andrew G. Vaughn, Divorce attorney at NuVorce and a Professor of Domestic Relations Law at Loyola University Chicago School of Law
2. Pinpoint the reason why you would be getting married.
When we ask couples why they got married, what we most often hear is, "It was what I thought we should do." They followed the script of life and marriage, which was what should be "next." We sing it as a nursery rhyme from the time we are kids: "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage."
— Michelle Crosby, CEO of Wevorce
3. Listen to your intuition.
The key is, trust your gut. Your intuition speaks to you subtly. It's not going to fly a banner that says 'NOOOOOO, DON'T GET MARRIED TO THIS PERSON!!!' It will speak to you subtly. If you are asking, 'Is he the one?' to a psychic, friend, counselor, parent or stranger on the bus… he isn't. And even if the band has struck up "The Wedding March" and you are ready to walk down the aisle, it's never too late to walk the other way.
— Melissa Mattern, Psychic
4. Find out if you and your SO have the same definition of "forever."
When people first started believing in "living happily ever after" and committing to stay together ''til death do us part," the average life expectancy was 40 years. Someone who is alive today could live to be 150. Can you imagine? Perhaps, a better way to begin a marriage is to spend time talking about the changing phases of life and how you foresee them. Then, define what "forever" means to you, and to you and your partner as a couple.
— Michelle Crosby, CEO of Wevorce
5. And if you're both open to marriage management training.
Our expectations are that marriage works automatically. That's easy at first because you're in the romantic phase during the first two years. However, once you are past the two-year mark, you enter the endurance phase of the relationship. And that takes work to maintain a healthy partnership. During the endurance phase, marriage runs best when approached like a business; weekly meetings, quarterly and annual planning, agendas, honey-do lists, budgets, etc.
— Michelle Crosby, CEO of Wevorce
And there you have it! The honest ways to make sure that, before you walk down the aisle, the option of you getting cold feet isn't even a remote possibility.
