Relationships

5 Misconceptions About Black Women Who Only Date Other Races

by Jasmine Vaughn-Hall
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Please watch your footing as we step into the land of crooked double standards. As you may already know, double standards seemingly haunt us in every aspect of our lives, whether that's at work, school or the already difficult world of dating.

Peter Bernik

The twisted rules apply to different types of men and women. Black women, for example, must play an entirely rigged ball game as compared to black men when they only date outside their race.

For some reason, many ugly misconceptions about black women's characters have continued to occur. No matter whether you're the black woman in this scenario or the one judging the hell out of her, chances are, you've stumbled across these societally skewed perceptions of black women while they've been dating outside their race:

1. They're traitors.

Because black women have historically claimed the matriarch role in black families, they are expected to be completely devoted to that.

It isn't a horrible responsibility, but people get confused by the fact that a black woman can date outside her race and still remain true to her family.

The weight of the family struggles does get put on the woman because she is incredibly adaptable and strong. This caters to the idea that she carries hardships first and asks questions later.

Black men are hardly ever challenged with this idea of being a traitor. In fact, for some black men, it is even considered a conquest to explore other races.

Luckily, black women don't need swords to slay.

2. They're uppity.

This is a double-edged sword. Saying black women believe they are “better” than others because they date outside their race perpetuates the idea that black skin needs another race to value itself.

We place black skin, yet again, in the position of having to be bought. Black women are some of the strongest and most independent ones, and they aren't gaining anything other than a partner by dating outside their race.

3. They're against black men.

Have you noticed yet how these “judgements” are ABOUT the black woman, but also have nothing to do with her specifically?

Just because a black woman isn't dating a black man, that doesn't mean she is repelled by her own race.

There's nothing wrong with trying something new: Everyone does it.

Why does it become World War II when a black woman does something differently? The more we pair and designate races to each other, the more we allow single-mindedness to win.

Black men and women are great together, but it's not the only option. Some separation is allowed now. Sorry, history.

4. They just want “mixed” kids.

Black babies are cute too, so why do we keep putting mixed children on a pedestal? All babies are cute, but we keep downgrading the 100 percent chocolate babies, as if they missed out on some genetic freebie we forgot to claim while we were picking our partner.

Black women don't go out and prey on men who'll just supply them with ligher-skinned babies. Now, this isn't to say all women don't consider the factors of reproducing with different candidates... but that's not the sole purpose of dating.

5. They want the “control” in the relationship.

Black women are independent, and so, they're often perceived as bossy. People assume they can run over men quickly.

There's also the assumption black men and women clash heads in relationships because they both want to take control. Honestly, that doesn't really have much to do with race at all; rather, it has to do with the mix of personalities in a relationship.

Black women aren't dating other races because they think they can control them. Also, how weird and eerie does that sound? One race will seek out another race because the race is clueless about control... sounds like an episode of "Animal Planet" that never aired.

We need to take a step back sometimes and think about the way we perceive people. If you can't genuinely say you know someone, then you probably shouldn't be making any assumptions about him or her.

There's a reason we aren't the same. You should use your mouth to actually ASK about these differences, instead of settling with whatever it is you want to think.