24 Reasons Nice Guys Always Chase The B*tch -- As Told By The B*tch

Why would a guy want to be with a girl who literally says the meanest things to him?

I have a huge ego, and I'm pretty sure I’m the best thing since sliced bread, but if I were in a guy’s shoes, I wouldn’t be into that. I don’t want to date a narcissist or a guy who says awful things to me.

The type of guy I usually attract is one who's basically obsessed with me and all my bitch-tastic glory. He loves all of the horrible things I say and keeps coming back for more, despite how downright rude I am. It’s always been bizarre to me that these kinds of guys are so into me.

What in society is conditioning these perfectly nice guys to go after bitches?

My main theory has been that it’s the air we Alpha Bitches give off, the vibe we emit, the ferocity that envelops us, that make us attractive to these men.

I’m not saying that I expect dudes to just fall all over themselves for me; I’m strictly speaking about one type of guy.

This ultra sweet, often quite simple fellow who falls prey to my black widow ways. I’m not saying it’s healthy, but hell if it’s not true.

The thing is that this kind of guy is the sweetest of the bunch. Almost too sweet, actually. At the risk of sounding insulting, because I don’t care, these dudes are like sick puppies.

They think that because you’re strong-willed, you can be in control and they can just follow your lead. They try to act really tough, too, like sticks and stones won’t break their bones when really, inside they’re crying.

They want to be babied and they yet they want to be abused. It’s f*cking twisted. It will never stop being something I ponder on a regular basis.

All of the nice girls get left in the dust. In the end, the nice girls get cats, the boys get their hearts broken and the huge bitch gets the corner office and a martini.

Using my own dating life (if you can call it that) as my main jumping off point here, these are the 24 reasons the nice guy will always go after the huge bitch:

1. They think your bossiness will translate to the bedroom.

Never met a person who was bad in bed, but good at life.

 2. They like that you have your sh*t together.

You’re a rising star and they can see that.

3. You don’t intimidate them.

Instead of being threatened by your success, they embrace it.

4. They liked to be "slapped around."

It’s like nice guys just want to be abused by strong women.

5. They like to be second-in-command.

Relationship roles have greatly shifted within our generation. It’s perfectly acceptable to be the lady and also wear the pants.

6. You remind them of their mother.

They were (and I bet they still are) mamas' boys.

7. They feel more popular gaining acceptance from a bitchy woman.

We’re harder to please, so pleasing us means more to them.

8. They know you don't cry, but make girls cry.

We hold the power and never seem to crack.

9. The more you deter them, the more they want you.

I literally once responded to a guy solely in rude memes and he is still asking me to have drinks with him.

10. They're attracted to your self-confidence.

You’re sure of yourself and that is damn sexy to a sweet soul.

11. They don't understand how desperate they look.

They’re nice. They don’t mean to be stalkers; it just kind of happens that way.

12. You are a woman, not a girl.

Where your bitchiness might be interpreted as nasty, you’re actually just really truthful and aren’t interested in what anyone else thinks about you.

13. They want a strong woman who will tell them what to do.

They’re too nice to make decisions, so you’re the perfect person to make decisions for them.

14. They love the chase.

Bitches are not easily tied down. We’re elusive and difficult. It makes it all the more fun.

15. They like being "yes" men.

Because you're such a "no" woman.

16. You never ask for anything.

You keep them on their toes and you take care of yourself.

17. Opposites attract.

They see so many strong, intense qualities in you and it draws them in.

18. They want to spoil you because you don't want to be spoiled.

You’re a boss lady who likes to treat herself. You don’t need a man to buy you things when you’re working to put money in the bank with a ferocious tenacity. This just makes them want to spoil you more.

19. They quickly get addicted to your fleeting niceties.

You’re not great at showing affection, so on the rare occasions you do become soft, or offer them a compliment, it’s like Christmas Morning.

20. They want to be with you more because you want to be alone.

You’re very into your “me” time, and that just makes them more desperate to spend time with you.

21. They want attention so badly and you just want to pay attention to your career.

You have very little time or attention to devote to them. This confuses those nice guys and, for whatever reason, it makes them come hollerin’.

22. The nice girls are just too easy.

Sometimes “nice” just means “boring.” We may be volatile, but we’ll never stop being surprising and complex.

23. You remind them of the girls who rejected them in high school.

You’re like that mean, hot girl from high school who wouldn’t give them the time of day. If they can land you, they’ve won... or so they think.

24. They think the bitchy things we say are funny.

Even when you’re being a complete a-hole, they're all about it and laugh at everything you say.