Relationships

You Need To Stop Being Afraid Of Falling In Love, Or You'll Never Find It

by Alexandra Curreri
Stocksy

Being 2o-something in this dating age can seriously suck, and I know most of my fellow Millennials would agree.

We saw our parents' relationships fail. We've seen romance crumble before our very eyes. Communication has been diminished to words on a little screen, and we meet people by “swiping right.”

Tinder

Seriously: WTF is happening? In this climate, it's hard to not be a cynic. I've been burned once or twice – and by that, I mean maybe a couple of hundred times (hey Biebs) – I know how it is to feel terrified to fall and feel.

It is the most terrifying thing in the world. But we will all end up alone if we continue these patterns, and it's time to put our big boy (and girl) pants on and express ourselves.

As I've been trying to break the patterns myself, I recently told my FWB how I felt about him. But in traditional 2017 fuckboy fashion, he vanished.

Ghosted. Fuck you, dude. These are the cowardly behaviors I'm talking about.

It's easy for me to feel rejected and retreat into the anti-love, anti-feelings, cynical safe haven I made for myself after these kinds of events.

But I refuse to. I'm so sick of this shit.

When did feelings become “uncool?" Why is it so hard for us to admit when we like someone?

Will someone tell me what the fuck is up with these games we play? It's so lame of us to believe that just because someone has grown to like you, he or she is automatically written off as clingy or needy.

Are we fucking sociopaths? We're beginning to sound a lot like sociopaths, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm so sick of hearing women complain about not finding the right man, or vice versa. The truth is, they have rejected so many amazing people who cared about them because these people were “too needy.”

Because they “called too much.”

I'm sorry, isn't that what you want? Don't you want someone to express him or herself to you, for someone to care about your well-being? What the fuck is wrong with that?

Seriously, I don't ever want to hear this shit from anyone who preaches he or she is looking for love.

Granted, there are exceptions to this rule: Yes, if they call you 20 times a day or show up unannounced to your house, they are a little bit insane.

Do you want to know why we don't enjoy it when someone cares? Because we're not used to it.

We're used to people leaving us and abandoning our relationships. To cheating.

It has now become socially unacceptable to feel, to want to build and to grow with someone. It's become cool to not care, to ghost and to be the winner.

You're the winner if you come out unscathed. You're the winner if you weren't hurt. Whoever cares less is the winner.

How pathetic.

People have now become disposable. The minute it becomes difficult, we have the opportunity to go on dating apps and find someone else. The minute you face any challenges, you leave.

This creates a never-ending, perpetuating cycle of meaningless, empty relationships. At this rate, we are all destined to be alone AF.

If you never feel, you will never fall. If you never fall, you will never be in love.

If you never fall in love, you will never share your life with someone. You will never know what it's like to be head-over-heels for someone.

You will never know what it's like to wake up next to the person you love. It's easy to be afraid. It's easy to be negative.

It's easy to make excuses, to blame it on timing, to blame it on focusing on your career right now, or whatever bullshit you preach to yourself.

I encourage all of you to stop writing people off who have feelings for you. Actually give it a chance... unless you want to be the neighborhood cat lady or man. If that's the case, then keep at it, kiddo.

If you do not want this for your future, I suggest you saddle up and get aboard the hopeless romantic train. It's beginning to look a little empty here.