This Is Your Naughtiest Sexual Fetish, Based On Your Personality Type

For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why I liked to be so fiercely dominated in the bedroom.

I mean, I'm a very assertive woman! I get off on being in control of my own life. I'm my own boss, and I've been described as ambitious from the time I was a greasy-faced, twerpy adolescent.

So why was I so deeply longing to be tied up and bound to the antique wood of my frilly four poster bed? Why did the idea of someone else taking control over me — something I HATE in my personal life — make me feel so irrepressibly turned on?

Well, one night, all of my girlfriends were gabbing over a joint (we were in Amsterdam — it was legal, babes) when our conversation quickly circled to sex.

Turns out, all of the girls I was with, all of whom are bossy, outspoken forces of nature, liked to be ~dominated~, too.

That's when I realized, holy shit, we like to be dominated because we dominate everything in our personal lives — and we're exhausted!

I quickly began to analyze (and by "analyze," I mean "sleep with") all the different personality types I've come across and came to realize that each one comes with a vastly different sexual fetish.

So who are you, and what is your fetish, honey?

The type A go-getter who is totally organized and on top of her shit: submissive sex slave

You see that girl over there in the perfectly pressed blazer, with her flat-ironed hair tickling her razor-sharp collarbones as it hangs still and shiny?

What about the girl with a clenched jaw and a fiery prowess gleaming behind her bulging eyes as she clutches her buttery leather day planner?

Yeah, well she's a submissive sex slave, you know. This alpha female totally wants you to tie her up and take the sex reigns because she's totally fucking exhausted from being SO in control.

Women who are wildly in control of their lives LOVE to be wildly out of control in the bedroom. When you're a BOSS who barks orders at your terrified swarm of assistants all day, it's refreshing to be told what to do sexually.

Women who are wildly in control of their lives LOVE to be wildly out of control in the bedroom.

The dreamy artist teeming with restless creativity: freakish, costume role play

Are you a glossy-eyed artist with a crazy and colorful imagination?

Does all of the electric creativity that burns inside of you make you feel like you're clinically insane sometimes? Me, too!

But you know what the greatest feeling in the world is? Channeling all of that RESTLESS creative energy into having some freak-show SEX, baby! Let's make our weird, nerdy, cosplay-like fantasies come to life with some kinky role play.

If you're a lesbian like me, I dare you to dress up like Snow White and fuck the shit out of Cinderella.

If you're straight (I'm sorry, that must suck), make your boyfriend dress like an English schoolboy. You can dress like the big, bad principal of the school, and oh, he's been naughty. Teach that boy a lesson!

If you're a gorgeous gay boy, dress like Adam and have illicit sex with another Adam, making all of your childhood biblical dreams come true.

The anxiety-ridden person who's tortured by the complexity of their own thoughts: masochism

Are you completely brilliant, but you can't sleep at night because you're tossing and turning in bed, TORTURED by your own mediocrity?

Are you a writer or another type of creative who has the ability to move the masses? Even though you're constantly praised, do you secretly think you have zero talent, and one day, everyone will find out you're SHIT?

Are you a masochist who HATES writing, but LOVES it at the same time? You like a side of pain with your sexual pleasure, don't you, babe?

Join the club! Your love of being HURT isn't just translated onto paper — it seeps into the bedroom, too. You don't mind being spanked, flogged or tossed around like yesterday's dirty laundry, and that's OK.

Sometimes it just feels good to (safely) have someone torture us (in a good way) the way we torture ourselves incessantly. When you're being emotionally hard on yourself all the time, it's sort of validating to have someone else be sexually hard on you, right?

Oh, honey, I get it! Sometimes I just wanted to be treated the way I feel, too.

The social butterfly who is energized by networking, partying and gabbing on the phone: sadism

Are you super gorgeous, super friendly and perfectly blow-dried all the DAMN time? Are you the glittery life of the party — the tan babe with the long legs, dancing on the tabletops of the most fabulous clubs in Los Angeles?

Well, being so sweet, lovely and chatty all the time gets a little old, doesn't it, girl? Don't you just want to release all of your pent-up frustration on another person during sex sometimes? YES!? It makes sense, my sadistic sister.

You like to be a dom. You like to be on top. You like to be the one doing the rope tying because, after all, you're always smiling and doing whatever everyone asks you to do in your social life, right? This is when you take the power back.

So find yourself a masochistic, tortured writer, and you will be in hookup heaven. (A masochistic, tortured writer who TOTALLY consents to be dominated, that is.)

The sensitive introvert who loves to retreat, light candles and feel at peace: sex in public

Do you work from the safety of your own little apartment? Do you prefer to spend time alone rather than force yourself to attend all of those obnoxious nightclubs? Do you get pleasure from lighting incense and curling up with a book on a Saturday night?

Do you also bizarrely enjoy having sex in really public places, like nightclub bathrooms, public beaches and corporate board rooms? Are the only times you long to be in public when sex is involved?

Well, yeah! Of course! All that time alone makes you THIRSTY for some public attention when you're getting down and dirty in the sack.

So spend your totally day alone, honey, because pretty soon, you're going to be sexing it up in the chic bathroom of the most expensive restaurant in town.

The melodramatic fashionista who's obsessed with Lana Del Rey and vintage Chanel: sex in the back of cars

Are you a total fashion babe? Do you collect vintage Vogue magazines, wear massive designer sunglasses indoors and live for the drama of it all? Is Lana Del Rey always darkly crooning through your speakers as you adorn your face in heaps of La Mer skin products?

Well, you're in good company. We glamour girls really get off by doing it in the most unglamorous, dangerous of places.

It's refreshing for us to be out of the Plaza hotel, having sex in a truck while our $300 underwear are recklessly tossed out the window.

We might complain loudly about the "conditions," but that's all part of our "princess gone bad" act. We want to get it in on in the trashiest of places. It makes us feel even chicer than we already are.

The mathematical genius who struggles to connect with others: tantric sex

Are you a crazy, mathematical, finance, tech-y superstar? Did you ace chemistry in high school or get a perfect score on your SAT? Did you study something really technical like ENGINEERING in college? Do you live in Silicon Valley?

You sound like just my type!

I love my sexy nerds who are brilliant with numbers but who deeply struggle to connect with people. You can't have it all.

And I've found that you dirty little overachievers enjoy some slow, meditative, hyper-connected tantric sex.

After all, when you feel so disconnected from people, isn't it nice to hyper-connect during sex — the most intimate moment between two people?

Maybe that's why you're so focused at work? Your sex life is one giant meditation (with really long, replenishing orgasms, too).

So whether you're anxious, melodramatic, nerdy, type-A or artsy, the moral of the story is this: We're all connected by our desire to have sex.

Strip down our outer personalities, and we're all just human beings with massive sex drives, looking for our perfect match to get down and dirty with.

And hey, maybe you're a fashion freak who likes to be dominated, or maybe you're a computer geek who likes to role play. It doesn't matter. We're all a bit of everything anyway, and so long as it feels good and your partner is into it, nothing is really off limits.