Why Your Kill Count Shouldn't Matter
Do you care how many people your partner has slept with? In a world of growing sexual promiscuity, the days where girls could count the number of their sexual partners on one hand is long gone. Sure there may be unicorns out there, but for the majority of women, this isn’t the case -- sorry to disappoint you men.
The idea that there is an acceptable amount of people a woman can sleep with in her life needs to become a notion of the past. Want to know what the “acceptable” number actually is? It’s whatever amount of people a person feels comfortable sleeping with. NEWSFLASH: it is a personal choice.
“Do not judge or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Why do people lie about their number? Is it for the fear of being judged? Well, f*cking duh. But who are we to pass such harsh judgment onto others? The only person who should even give a sh*t about the number of people you’ve slept with is the person you are dating. No one wants to hear that the person they have been dating has banged 25+ people in their lifetime, but hey, sh*t happens.
Why even ask the question in the first place? Almost all people, regardless of gender, are going to lie. Men exaggerate it while women downplay it. Like "American Pie" taught us, when a girl tells you her number, multiply it by three and when a guy tells you his number, divide it by three. I hope this isn’t true for everyone because I’d be f*cked, and not in a good way.
Apparently the worst ways to answer your partner's question of how many people you’ve effed in your lifetime is to respond with: “what did I tell you last time?” or to laugh and say, “more than you.” Why do people have to lie about this? Shouldn’t your partner love you unconditionally? Who cares if you banged 5 people or 50? Your personality and quirks still remain the same.
Sure this may seem “slutty,” but what does that even mean? You got too drunk one night, got horny and f*cked the sexiest person you could get your hands on. CONGRATULATIONS! How does placing a person’s values on their sexual encounter as motive for their self-worth in society make any sense whatsoever?
“Do not be afraid of exploring your sexuality, fantasies and desires. Embrace them. Love them. Make them yours. They are a part of who you are.”
The double standard is alive and well, but it needs to be eradicated. It’s bullsh*t that a man can receive praise for banging out any girl he can get his hands on, but if a girl does the same, she is labeled a slut. Too often have girls been ridiculed by their partners when they finally do admit their true sexual conquests. You guys asked for the answer didn’t you?
Let’s be honest for a second: do you really even want to know the answer to that question? Of course you don’t. You’re in for a harsh reality check if the girl you think has only slept with a handful of people suddenly reveals she’s f*cked enough people to fill a football roster, you’re immediately going to regret your question. The 'don’t ask, don’t tell' approach is the way to go. There are many things that are better left unsaid and this is one of them.
“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.”
Why should a person’s sexual past carry such a stigma that they become reluctant to reveal that number to anyone who asks? Your number reflects your past…what happened to living in the moment? The past is behind you and if you reflect on it, it’s only going to haunt you. There is no reason to dwell on past lovers if they bear no relevance to your present situation.
Everyone has a past and there is a reason it has not transcended into your future. Let your past be your past, people! Don’t drag that sh*t into your current relationship that only creates unnecessary problems.
Anyone can have meaningless sex, so wouldn’t it be better to ask how many committed long-term relationships a person has had? If someone has never attempted to commit, shouldn’t that be more of a concern? A straight up number of sexual partners reveals nothing about how any of those relationships went or came about or why they happened. If you love someone and finding out their number changes something for you, then you shouldn’t be with them in the first place.
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” -Oscar Wilde
Why do you girls feel bad about being promiscuous? If a guy has had a large number of partners, it's beyond hypocritical to judge a women for doing the exact same thing.
If it was what you wanted at the time, why regret it? As long as each person is ready to be in a committed relationship and doesn’t have a venereal disease, then why would the number even matter anyway? The why behind the number matters much more than the number itself. I think you should work on being comfortable with your own past, and then you'll realize that any guy who cares that much isn't suited to you anyway.
