Women aren't the only ones who have grown up believing in fairytales. Many men are going through life buying into fairytales they've been sold since a young age.
We believe in a life of unrelenting bachelorhood. We're stuck in our player ways until we one day meet our dame in a silk dress who comes to save us from our debasing – yet youthfully rambunctious – lifestyle.
Because boy, we sure are living the life.
We all dream of riding off into the sunset with the woman of our dreams. Unfortunately, the vast majority of us don't bow out so gracefully.
Instead, we tend to either purposely or inadvertently navigate a daunting road filled with obstacles, frustration, time wasted and drama. It's only then we realize this player shit just ain't easy.
We end up defeated, tired and usually behind on a lot more important things in life.
Now, it's time for something new... even though it seems like a soulmate is nowhere in immediate sight.
You're over that life. You haven't quite retired from the game, but the game has retired from you.
Here are eight signs it's time to settle down and give up the player life:
1. You spend your entire morning sending out "good morning" texts.
You've sent out four different variations of “good morning, beautiful” before you've even brushed your teeth.
You're so concerned about letting them all know you're thinking about them, you've missed breakfast.
You need breakfast. It's an important meal.
2. Your entire life is centered around not getting "caught."
You can't even post that Instagram picture you want to post because girl A will suspect you were with girl B.
But the good news is, you can at least control who sees your Instagram stories. You can't go to that party all your boys are going to because two of your favorites are going to be there, and that's more anxiety than your little heart can handle.
All in all, you're just putting way too much energy in the art of not getting caught. That's time better spent doing something else.
3. You send out the wrong texts to the wrong women.
Speaking of not getting caught, you REALLY suck when you start doing this.
Alexandra, Alexis and Alicia get confusing to your eyes while you're perusing your inbox late at night. It's definitely time to downsize.
4. You're really just in a bunch of relationships.
Keeping one woman is a full-time job. But you have multiple.
You think you're the man, but you're really THEIR man. So, as much as you think you have them all under control, it's really quite the opposite. You work hard, and you probably even spend a decent amount of money to keep all of them happy.
Who's really in control?
At this point, you're not even a player: You're a womanizer.
You also have either have way too much or way too little time on your hands... depending on how you look at it.
5. You're going broke.
You're spending copious amounts of money on dates, birthday gifts, apology gifts, condoms, morning-after pills, gas money, etc.
The bachelor lifestyle is expensive. We've all heard the old saying, "It's cheaper to keep her."
This operative phrase here is "her," not "them."
6. You're a grown man with drama in your life.
Drama was cute in your teens... and maybe your early 20s.
But at this point, you just look silly and messy. You have women blowing up your phone, staking you out and showing up to your home. You even have a few public social media squabbles under your belt.
It's getting messy, and you've been way too old for this. Tighten up, sir.
7. You're mixing your women up.
You mix Vanessa, who just graduated, with Erica, who still has three semesters left.
Players fuck up too, but you're in way over your head. It's becoming so obvious, Erica knows who Vanessa is... and vice versa.
This is all because you can't keep it together.
8. Your time management sucks.
You've got shit to do, young man. But you have to buy birthday gifts for two girls, attend a party and spend a night in watching Netflix... with three different people.
When do you have time for the important stuff in life? Oh, right: You don't.
