10 People Reveal How Therapy Saved Their Relationships

“Therapy taught me how to communicate in a productive manner, work on childhood trauma that is triggered in relationships, [build] honesty in relationships, express needs/wants without feeling bad, and break cycles from past relationships. My partner has been supportive and even went to therapy himself as a result. In order to have a healthy relationship with a partner, you have to have a healthy relationship within yourself.” — Molly*, 26

“I learned the reason I judge other people is because I judge myself, and to approach myself (and therefore others) with curiosity and compassion, not shame and judgment. I learned to trust myself and trust my body. I am a violent sexual assault survivor and struggled heavily in the aftermath, which made dating difficult when things began getting physical, so [therapy] has been transformative. And I learned I am allowed to feel pleasure, however it shows up! I grew up in religious purity culture, and currently identify as bisexual, so learning to let go of shame and embrace pleasure and intimacy has been a game-changer for my relationships." — Maggie, 34

“I learned about my childhood traumas and how I’ve carried them into my current relationship. My therapist has helped me work through my triggers, set boundaries, and cultivate healthy communication. My husband is supportive; I understand myself better and he also understands me better, especially when I am being triggered. Therapy can create an opportunity for growth, awareness, and can improve your relationship significantly.” — Steph, 30

“Learning grounding techniques helped me tremendously to not spiral and live in a constant state of fight-or-flight. Being able to be calm and present has positively impacted my relationship in many, many ways. My partner of 10 years has seen and felt the benefits of taking care of my mental health and my wellbeing. He says it was inspiring and motivating to see me do the work and heal, so much that he is now in therapy!” — Vania, 34

“[Therapy taught me] when to say no. Too often I was the ‘people pleaser’ — I would do anything and everything for my partner. When I stopped and actually listened to my therapist, and specifically made boundaries, my relationships became stronger because my partner knew how to respect me and my feelings. I no longer became a doormat who felt overextended because most of the time, my partner would rarely ever return the favor. Rather, I finally acknowledged my own self-worth.” — Jessica, 25

“I think the most important [thing I’ve learned] has been to be able to acknowledge my needs while simultaneously understanding when they are coming from a place of hurt instead of a place of self-love. I’ve also learned about my patterns of avoidance, and how to work with my fears of intimacy and communicate them to partners. I’m currently working on decentering romantic love, and it’s one of the best things I’ve done for myself. Therapy has helped get me to this point in my life.” — Massiel, 26

“My husband is super supportive of therapy and we talk a lot about what I learned and how we can apply it to our relationship to make it better. It has helped me not just in my romantic relationship but in my family relationships as well. I am able to see better why others react in certain ways and I understand my triggers better. This leads to disagreements, not arguments, and I believe it has even prevented problems as well. [It’s helped me] to approach disagreements in a calmer way and to communicate my needs better to my husband.” — Julia, 26

“[I’ve learned] so, so much — mostly as a survivor of a really toxic relationship, learning that some of my ‘defense’ mechanisms are just me anticipating hurt, and then acting accordingly. Also, so much self-doubt about how much I’m worthy of romantic love came from the toxic relationship and working through that. All of that better helps me understand my boundaries and how and why I’m communicating in the ways that I am, especially in times of conflict. My partner is also in therapy and has been for some time, and we openly talk about how it helps us better understand ourselves. We are both big, big fans!” — Mary Frances, 26

“Therapy has helped me see some underlying issues that were ruining aspects of my relationship. [For people considering therapy] even if the outcome and actual improvement is realizing you don’t need one another, it is still an improvement on an otherwise miserable relationship. It’s better to do than to not. It’s helped me stop keeping things from people out of fear of failure or other negative consequences, which only ever created more anxiety and self-loathing for myself.” — G, 30

“Working in a direct service field, I was experiencing a lot of secondhand trauma and having a hard time showing up as an equal partner because of what I was experiencing day-to-day at work. Therapy became a much better outlet for me to talk through what I was experiencing rather than trauma-dumping on my partner day after day. I credit therapy for giving me the skills and strength to eventually transition to a new job, and I think that change has made my relationship more stable, strong, and healthy because I have the mental and emotional energy to be an equitable partner.” — Ava, 26