Tinx Shares The Best Way To Get Over A Breakup, Once And For All

Tinx, aka Christina Najjar, goes by many, many names: TikTok’s big sister, Rich Mom extraordinaire, Diplo’s girlfriend (kidding — mostly!), etc. Still, she may be best known for her dating theories, a collection of hard-earned love lessons that she shares with her 1.5 million TikTok followers on a near-constant basis.

The TikTok star is single (publicly, at least). But she isn’t just using her time in the dating pool to meet new people. She’s also collecting more dating theories and lessons. “The Notes App in my phone is so crazy,” she says. Apparently, it’s full of half-baked (or fully formed) theories, plus plenty of crush and ick lists. (For non-Tinx diehards, crush lists are “part organization, part manifestation,” which consist of writing down all of your crushes in a Note; ick lists are collections of “icks” you’ve noticed when dating someone new.)

For obvious reasons, Tinx is protective of her phone. “I’m like, ‘If I die, do not let anyone go through that Notes App.’” Yet with her new podcast, It’s Me, Tinx, which launched on Feb. 21, she’s giving her followers a peek into her “scary” Notes with biweekly deep dives into the complicated intricacies of dating — crush lists and all.

In Elite Daily’s Q&A series Everything I’ve Learned About Love (So Far), celebrities share their most heartfelt and heartbreaking lessons about dating, relationships, and breakups, and offer their best advice. This time, Tinx talks about the challenges of dating as an influencer, spills on her worst-ever first date, and introduces a new theory about why being single is kinda the best.

What's your favorite thing about being single?

Oh God, so many things. I think when you’re single, you really get to know yourself. There’s so much time to spend with your friends, and it’s a great time to cultivate your friendships. Also, when you're single, you can have friendships with the opposite sex in a way that's not possible when you're in a relationship.

This is a new theory that I'm working on, but there’s this special treat you get when you’re single. If you're a girl and you have a best guy friend, and you're both single, your friendship is just so different. It's like supercharged. It’s this special thing. And it's not possible to have it if one of you is in a relationship nor should it be.

How do you meet people?

My favorite way to meet people is actually to be set up. I've gotten several boyfriends out of setups, and I think that it's totally cool and fun to ask your friends, “Do you have anyone to set me up with?” I love doing that.

The apps are good, but I think that everybody has app fatigue. Everybody has digital fatigue right now. So, yeah. I love setups.

What's your best piece of dating advice?

It's not about if he likes you. It's about if you like him. I spent so much of my young twenties thinking, “Is he going to text me? Does he like me? What's he saying about me?” That’s actually the totally the wrong way to look at it.

I wish I'd just quieted my need for validation, quieted my ego and just thought, “Do I even like guy? Do I feel like myself around him? Am I my funniest, best self? Do I feel cute and sexy when I'm with him? Or do I feel like a stressed-out wreck?”

And then there’s the other side of that coin: Pay attention to who makes you feel great. Who do you feel your best around? Who do you feel funny around? Who makes you feel like you have sunshine coming out of your face? That's who you should be with. We tend to over-complicate things, but I think just pay attention to who you feel best around.

What's your best piece of relationship advice?

Love fiercely. We can get bashed around in dating. We can get our hearts broken. We can get our feelings hurt. And I think that that can lead to trepidation and fear. But I think if you're going to give it a go with someone, you really need to love fiercely and be vulnerable. It can be so difficult if you're feeling a little wounded from whatever situation you were in last. But you really just have to go in with an open heart.

I'd also say fill up your cup before you ask someone else to love you. In my young twenties, I was always searching for someone to complete me and make me happy. I realized is that I needed to do that for myself first. I needed to find my dream job and a great group of friends and to feel peaceful in my own life. Now, I felt ready to meet someone who could be additive — not to complete me, though.

What's your best piece of breakup advice?

Everything happens for a reason, and it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. Don't focus too much on what went wrong or what you could have done better. Focus instead on what you want to call into your life. I think that there's this tendency to look back and say, “Well, maybe if I hadn't done that,” or “What if this and that?” The longer you go over that stuff, the longer the breakup will last.

Instead, try to focus on, “OK, I respect and admire what we had, but now I want to call something else into my life.”

Who is one celebrity couple you admire? Why?

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher. I love them so much. They’re goals. They're funny. They've been together for ages. They're kind of private, but you know that they love each other. They're goofy. They’re just fun, and they have fun. You can tell.

What's your most memorable first date story, good or bad?

In high school, I met this guy, and I was like, “Oh my God, I'm obsessed with him. He's just so cool.” And this is kind of bad, but I drank wine coolers, and I puked on his shoes.

I remember thinking, “That's it. He's never going to talk to me again.” The next day though, he came to the shop where I was working and said he wanted to take me to dinner. And I was like, “I puked on your shoes last night.” And then I started thinking, “Huh, that's interesting.” It was kind of the genesis for Box Theory.

What's a fear you used to have about dating or relationships that you've overcome?

I used to be so worried about doing my nighttime routine if a guy was sleeping over. I used to not sleep and not take my makeup off or whatever. I think that's just the whole thing is when you're in your younger years, you think, “Oh my God, if I take off my makeup or if I do this or that he's not going to like me anymore.” Per Box Theory, it does not freaking matter.

Now I'm like, “Hey, I'm going to go do my 15-step skincare routine. I need to put the air conditioning on really high. I need to change into my super soft PJs. I need to put on my meditation app.” I don't care, and the guy doesn't either.

What's your favorite love song?

I really love “Yours If You Want It” by Rascal Flats, or “Somebody Like You” by Keith Urban.

What's one song that's gotten you through a breakup?

“Julia (Deep Diving)” by Fred Again got me through my breakup last year. I listened to it a thousand times. I remember I was at a wedding, and I was sitting in the Nevada airport, just bawling to that song. And I was like, "Oh my God."

And now every time I hear it, I'm like, “No, no, no you don't have to cry again. It's fine.” Now I can listen to it again.

What's one misconception people might have about your love life?

I think people don't understand how difficult it is to find a guy who respects my deep love and obsession with my followers. But there’s a balance. I want him to respect it and know that my followers are the of the loves of my life, but I don't want him to be a clout chaser.

Most guys will either see my online presence and say, “Ew, I don't want to date an influencer,” or they'll be like, “Ooh, an influencer. I'm going to try and date her.” On apps, everyone's like, "Ooh, are you going to bring your mini mic [Tinx’s go-to TikTok prop]?" And I'm like, “Ew.”

In LA, it’s hard to find someone who will come in with no preconceived notions about being an influencer. That’s why it's way, way better to be set up [by a friend] for me.

What does love mean to you?

Love means seeing someone for who they really are and being seen for who you really are.