Meant To Be: What It Feels Like When You've Found Your Soul Mate
I never thought I would find the one I was meant to be with for the rest of my life.
Coming from a broken marriage with a twist (my father came out of the closet at age 30), I always figured I would fly solo here in this world.
I partied like the world was ending and drank like my life depended on it. Nights consisted of bar crawls and drinking competitions in which I would always be deemed winner.
The idea of a man was not a constant in my life from my youth so, naturally, I would tell myself that rule applied when it came to my love life. I never truly invested because I always subconsciously feared abandonment.
The men who existed in my love life all seemed as though they had potential, but never quite made the cut.
I always figured it was my daddy issues that were the problem, and that I scared them away with any of my vast imperfections.
I would cry to myself and wonder what was wrong with me, but little did I know I was not the problem at all.
The reality of the situation was those people were not meant to be with me and I was not meant to be with them. It's as simple as that.
I know that it's clichéd to say, "when you know, you know," but it really is true.
A person is born into this universe as a half and it is up to us to find our other halves so we can exist as whole.
When you find that actual other half, you walk through life on a whole other level.
Here's how to tell if you are really with the right person:
1. Worship
I know this sounds tacky, but being in a relationship means, in most instances, a certain form of worship to be dedicated to one another.
If he or she does not look up to you and admire everything that you stand for and accomplish, things need to be rethought.
It shouldn't be a smothering kind of thing; it should be balanced with respect and affection in a healthy way.
2. Balance
There should be a maintained balance in personalities, strengths and weaknesses when it comes to your relationship. Whatever you are not, your significant other should be and vice versa.
This will enable the both of you to grow in the areas in which you are not strongest, which is the absolute goal in any relationship.
3. Acceptance
Acceptance is a big component in life and just as much in any given relationship.
If you cannot accept the flaws that exist in your significant other, there will be bigger issues further down the line.
The harsh reality is people are not built to drastically change, so the sooner you accept what he or she has to offer, the sooner you can start to enjoy your life together.
4. Growth
If you and your girl or guy are in the same place emotionally three years later as you were the day you met, you have to start thinking about why that is.
In order for a relationship to exist in the long term, you need to be able to grow and evolve as an entity that consists of two separate people slowly becoming one.
5. Understanding
Without understanding, love cannot exist. You must be able to understand where your significant other came from and where he or she stands in every moment of time when the two of you are together.
Being able to put yourself in your partner's shoes is an extremely important ability one should be able to obtain within a relationship in order for it to be successful in the grand scheme of things.
This means you need to be completely selfless when it comes to your relationship at least half the time — if not more — which is an extremely difficult thing that isn't done by a human being for just anyone.
If you're able to accomplish these five extremely important emotional obstacles within your relationship, you are definitely on the right track to locking down your soul mate for the rest of your life.
Keep in mind, though, these things come and develop over time, so if you're in the beginning of something promising, don't worry if certain things seem underdeveloped.
As long as it feels as though growth exists perpetually within your relationship, you are definitely in the clear for being madly and hopelessly in love.
