The Science Of Fantasy: 7 Reasons You Should Watch Porn With Your BF

I'm a woman, and I like to watch porn. I'm not ashamed of it, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let anyone make me feel ashamed of it.

And another thing, I watch porn with my boyfriend. What might have been considered a solitary activity is an integral part of my sex life. And guess what? It's extremely liberating and has brought my SO and me closer. Why wouldn't it?

Porn has a societal stigma attached to it. Those who watch it are often deemed somehow dirty or criminal. It's only tolerated as long as the man (or — gasp! -- woman) watching it is doing it privately — and never discusses it openly.

It's true, viewing explicit materials is more widely accepted as our culture becomes more tolerant of human sexuality and sexual exploration, but it's still not a behavior you discuss in the public arena.

As if there were something wrong with masturbating or fantasizing -- both the combined framework of pornographic materials.

People masturbate and have sexual fantasies outside of their relationships. According to an article on The Daily Dot, which notes three separate surveys from Kinsey, Playboy and Redbook:

Forty percent of men and 30 percent of women in relationships masturbate. A survey of Playboy readers found 72 percent of married men masturbate, and a similar Redbook survey found 68 percent of married women do it, too.

Something interesting to note is the scientific finding showing viewing pornographic material can actually lead to a heightened level of sexual satisfaction within relationships.

Studies have suggested porn has the potential to make men more aggressive, and more sexually frustrated, which leads to an increase in community sex crimes, but the data shows the opposite.

Psychology Today refers to a 2009 study recorded in International Journal of Law and Psychiatry, which studies the beneficial effects of pornography:

If anything, there is an inverse causal relationship between an increase in pornography and sex crimes. Further, considering the findings of studies of community standards and wide spread usage of SEM [sexually explicit material], it is obvious that in local communities as nationally and internationally, porn is available, widely used and felt appropriate for voluntary adult consumption.

Another problem some women have with porn is the notion their partners could be "cheating" by viewing these visual materials.

By thinking your boyfriend is cheating on you or being disloyal by watching porn is the same as being mad at your best friend for watching "Superbad." What? Our friendship isn't satisfying enough, so you had to go watch another one in a movie?

Obviously the dynamic is different, this is someone you get naked with and are intimate with so you're in a more vulnerable position — but is it really that different? Is it?!

So, why should you watch porn with your boyfriend? Because you should forget false boundaries and socially-constricted views on sexuality. Everyone has a desire to masturbate and to live outside of the world we know — just for a little while.

Fantasizing and masturbating are important for self-love and for getting to know yourself. Embrace your inner goddess and live a little.

Sex should be fun, not stifling.

You can be part of the fantasy.

When you watch porn with your boyfriend, you get to be present in his fantasy. You don't have to worry about his being completely occupied by the women on the screen because you're there; you're a part of this sexy, forbidden world. You're in it together.

And you know what? Women fantasize, too. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We're sexual beings. Do yourself a favor and let your boyfriend watch you go to town on yourself, my friend. You need to know your own body to have a really satisfying sex life.

Alfred Kinsey of the Kinsey Institute first reported in the 1950s women who masturbated before becoming sexually active in marriage had a much better chance of achieving orgasms during sexual contact with their partners.

So yes, fantasizing is good for you too, girl.

 You can learn what he's into.

All men watch porn and that is really, really OK. According to a 2009 study from The University of Montreal:

Pornography is so widely digested, and with such a seemingly low correlation to 'pathological' behavior, that it is grossly over-demonized.

Just because he's watching porn doesn't mean he has a sick mind — he's just a normal person.

Watching porn with your boyfriend will give you a unique insight into his mind. You get to see what his darkest fantasies are.

I certainly had no idea my college boyfriend was interested in threesomes that included two dudes, but it was interesting and actually quite sexy when I found out.

You don't necessarily need to replicate the scenes you see on the screen — porn is larger than life and not every woman is going to be down for a real-life gang bang, but it's educational to see what your SO views as a turn-on.

Because it's good for your health.

Porn is good for your health and good for your relationship. It's often perceived as being dirty or raunchy — seen as a detriment to your relationships because of the “dark” qualities it supposedly possesses.

But this characterization vilifies sexuality. The truth is, sex, masturbation and pornography are actually good for you.

According to a 2007 Danish study of 600 men and women:

Men and women aged 18-30 found that self-reporting adults said that “hardcore” pornography had a positive effect on their lives. Researchers Martin Hald and Neil M. Malamuth asked the subjects to report the effects of hardcore porn consumption on 'sexual knowledge, attitudes toward sex, attitudes toward and perception of the opposite sex, sex life and general quality of life.'

If we demonize porn, if we turn up our noses to fantasy, we only cause harm to ourselves. We end up harvesting pent-up sexual aggression, not allowing ourselves much needed release.

Physically, we're supposed to have orgasms, we're supposed to enjoy sex — deprivation can only do us harm — both physically and mentally.

It pushes you out of your comfort zone.

If you aren't comfortable enough with your SO to watch porn with him, how comfortable are you in the relationship? Watching porn together will bring you closer and push any boundaries you may have had.

It will help you learn about your partner and it will force you to see a different side of him. The best sexual experiences are ones with people with whom we're truly comfortable.

If you let RedTube get in the way of your happiness -- if you build up impenetrable walls within your relationship -- you'll never be able to overcome them.

Because you might actually like it.

Admit it: Porn is f*cking hot. It's not for everyone, sure, but if you've never tried it, how can you know if you like it or not? Watching porn with your boyfriend can take on a different kind of sexiness — your own eff you to the taboos you've known your entire life.

You just might learn something about yourself -- and that's what sexual liberation is all about.

You can learn some new moves.

You might see something you've never thought of trying. I didn't consider leather bondage gear until I watched a Dominatrix scene on PornHub. You could really learn some things from the professionals on your big screen.

Obviously, not everything you watch is going to be something you want to do — it's not like just anyone wants to do DP — but there could be something you're willing to try or something you're willing to water down and THEN try.

Spice it up!

It can keep you both satisfied.

If you're willing to watch threesomes with your boyfriend, that really is enough. Your boyfriend isn't dating you, secretly miserable because he can't get nasty with two girls at once. Watching porn doesn't mean a lack of satisfaction in the bedroom.

Watching porn doesn't need to be a solitary act; it can be a really interesting, healthy and fun couples' activity. It's about finding a level of comfort where nothing exacts a shock factor of the scary or uncomfortable variety, but the most pleasurable kind.