Women: Once They Leave They Are Gone Forever

It’s amazing how much movies shape the way that we expect life to work. Sure, they help us find our dreams and allow us to stretch our imaginations a bit, but life very rarely works out the way it does in the cinema. If you were like me growing up, you loved chick-flicks.

I’m man enough to admit it — I’m a lover at heart; you just need to dig through several layers of asshole to get to the warm and fuzzy center. After watching dozens of these simplistic love stories, certain hopeful, misguided beliefs will rub off on a guy.

For example, the idea of there being one person and one person only out there for you. In these movies, a man meets the woman of his dreams — a woman who he just "knows" is the one. Of course, the movie can’t just end there — he has to lose her first.

And so he does. She goes off to live life while the guy is stuck "finding himself." What we all don’t see coming — cough cough — is that once he does find himself, he will somehow accidentally run into his lost love and the pair will have a magical moment where they once again connect and end up living the rest of their lives together.

If you aren’t old enough yet to have come to this conclusion on your own, in real life the girl does not come back. I repeat: once that bitch leaves, you better hope the door does hit her on the way out because the bruise it’ll leave will stay with her longer than the memory of your sorry ass. #Truth.

I have personally fallen into the same trap before. You break up with someone for good reasons and then you spend the next several months, or even years, thinking about them and imagining how perfect it would be if at some point down the road your paths would once again cross and things would — for some reason — be different.

Maybe I just haven’t scoped enough real life love stories, but I have yet to come across a couple who broke up, got back together 10 years later and then managed to stay together for the rest of their lives. I believe that it is definitely possible for a couple who was forced to split unwillingly because of uncontrollable circumstances — like moving away for school or for a job — to fall for each other all over again years down the line, but when a couple chooses to break up because they can’t stand to be with each other, it’s for good.

People grow — they don’t change. When two people decide to end their relationship, it is usually for better reasons than getting into a silly spat. And if it is because of a disagreement, they tend to patch things up within the week. When couples that really did give it their all to stay together can’t manage to do so, they are breaking up because they don’t work together.

You can have an awesome woman date an amazing man, yet not be compatible for the long haul. It’s neithers fault — it’s just the way these things go sometimes -- more often than not now that I think about it.

There is one other reason why the possibility of a man ending up with his lost love are slim-to-none: as soon as a woman walks out of your life, she walks into a marketplace full of starving buyers. You’re not buying? No need for her to worry — every other man in the world is.

There are lots of us. Women never cease to fascinate me: she’ll give you her heart the second she feels that you will keep it safe and won’t step all over it, but as soon as you take it out of the safe and scuff it, she’s on to the next one. Women are commodities that always remain in high demand. Your ex will have given her number to a handful of guys before you even get a chance to text your old booty calls. That’s just the way the world works.

Don’t be disgruntled by this truth — there’s nothing that you can do to change it. Luckily, another truth is that while your ex is now out in the world and ripe for the picking, so are numerous other women who are someone else’s exes.

Just as your gal is being hunted down by hungry wolves, you are now able to join a hunt yourself. There is nothing quite as thrilling as polishing your spear and going out into the world to see what you can stick it into. Fresh meat is always tastier than what you have lying around in your fridge. If you are holding on to your old relationship in hopes of one day reigniting the flame, then you my friend are a schmuck.

You are filling your mind with happy memories, ignoring all the awful that clouded your relationship, while your ex-love is bouncing around on someone else’s magic stick. Like I said: you’re a schmuck. Forget your ex and dispose of the silly idea that you two are meant for each other. What you’re meant for is some fresh puss. Go out there and have at it.

Paul Hudson | Elite. 

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