Entertainment

This Is How Bored Calvin Harris Is Without Taylor Swift

by Eitan Levine
REUTERS

Oh no. Someone please check on Calvin Harris.

Over the next few weeks, Calvin Harris has a chance to really solidify himself as an individual now that he and Taylor Swift are no longer a “thing.” Think about it.

What do you REALLY know about Calvin? He's a DJ, he is Scottish (I think?) and he used to date Taylor Swift. That's it. There is no fourth thing about him you know because his identity has literally just been Taylor's less famous bf for over a year.

Calvin can really make himself his own person now. He has a large following and, at the end of the day, is a great musician. Hopefully he's not spending all of his time just putzing around, wasting his day on Snapchat or something.

Eff, NOOooooOOOOOO! CALVIN! YOU NEED TO GO OUTSIDE AND LIVE YOUR LIFE!!

Wait, no, someone stop Calvin Harris from spending all of his money on penguin mugs.

Wait, ugh, no! Calvin! Don't become one of those awkwardly super religious internet celeb people!

What does this even mean?!?!?!?!

Someone take Calvin outside for some Froyo and a heart-to-heart.