Entertainment

Sorry, Drake: JLo Sees 'A Future' With A-Rod After Only Dating Him For 2 Months

by Eitan Levine
REX/Shutterstock

Someone go make sure Drake is doing OK.

For the past few months, Jennifer Lopez has been going out with former baseball star and all around D-human being, Alex Rodriguez.

For reasons that have more to do with my hatred of A-Rod than I care to admit, I am obviously super against this coupling.

HOW DO YOU GO FROM DATING DRAKE TO GOING OUT WITH THIS GUY?!?!?

JLo clearly sees something in him that the rest of the world is missing.

According to an insider who spoke to US Magazine, after two months together,

They definitely see a future together.

Oh no.

The source says they are a better fit for each other than whatever she had with Drake. US says the source listed the following similarities between the two:

1. They're both Latino superstars.

2. They're both from New York.

3. They both have kids.

4. They both "are legends in their field."

5. They both have hyphens in their nicknames.

I'll let you guess which one I made up.

This list beats the list I formulated when breaking down their relationship:

Speaking of JLo's kids -- a sentence I say WAYYYY too often -- they were recently spotted getting out of a plane.

The two met back in January after Alex split from from Silicon Valley legend Anne Wojcicki. After he attended a show of JLo's in Vegas, he hopped backstage to meet her and snag those digits.

JLo ending things with Drake could have been the fire under A-Rod's butt he needed to gain the courage to ask her out. According to the source,

Alex swooped right in there... It was perfect timing... He swept her off her feet.

Reportedly, he sent her a bunch of texts and then a buttload of flowers to secure the deal.

So take note, dudes! If you want to date legendary music icons you just have to be super old-school and smooth about it. Also, you have to be a roided-out piece of crap who owes his entire career to HGH.

Sorry, I just REALLY hate this guy.

Citations: Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez 'Definitely See a Future Together' (US Magazine)