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Kanye Wrote A Bizarre Poem About McDonald's For Frank Ocean

by Jake Cappuccino
REX/Shutterstock

In case you thought you and Kanye West had nothing in common, guess again: Kanye also struggles to fight against the evil power of McDonald's fries.

I always knew them French fries was evil man / Smelling all good and shit

According to Pitchfork, Kanye West wrote a poem, "The McDonald's Man," that was featured in Frank Ocean's magazine, Boys Don't Cry, which was released at a handful of locations packaged with Ocean's new album, Blond.

According to tweets, the magazine also features photos of Kanye at a McDonald's drive-through in a Lamborghini, naturally.

Thankfully, one Twitter user photographed the magazine pages so we can all take a look at Kanye's McDonald's poem.

The poem is a little repetitive in my opinion, but that minor complaint aside, this poem has it all: heroes, villains, love, death, alliances, evil plotting, jealousy, romance, passion, anger and the triumph of evil over good. OK, so maybe it doesn't have ALL that, but it has, like, half of it.

Check out Kanye's poem in full below, and see for yourself why Kanye West thinks McDonald's french fries are a worthy, evil subject for a poem:

McDonalds man McDonalds man The French fries had a plan The French fries had a plan The salad bar and the ketchup made a band Cus the French fries had a plan The French fries had a plan McDonalds man McDonalds I know them French fries have a plan I know them French fries have a plan The cheeseburger and the shakes formed a band To overthrow the French fries plan I always knew them French fries was evil man Smelling all good and shit I don't trust no food that smells that good man I don't trust it I just can't McDonalds man McDonalds man McDonalds, damn Them French fries look good tho I knew the Diet Coke was jealous of the French fries I knew the McNuggets was jealous of the French fries Even the McRib was jealous of the fries I could see it through his artificial meat eyes And he only be there some of the time Everybody was jealous of them French fries Except for that one special guy That smooth apple pie

HOW DOES IT END KANYE!? YOU SET UP A WAR BETWEEN THE FRENCH FRIES AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN AN ALLIANCE AGAINST THEM.

I guess I'll have to pick up the next issue of Boys Don't Cry to see if Kanye wrote a follow-up poem about the evil french fries.

Citations: Kanye pens epic poem about McDonald's for Frank Ocean (Mashable), Frank Ocean Unveils Boys Don't Cry Magazine Featuring Kanye West, Lil B, More (Pitchfork)