Cryptic Calvin: What Does Calvin Harris' Snap Of The Fire Alarm Mean?

I am a huge fan of Calvin Harris. Every morning, I wake up and religiously watch his Snapchats before I watch anyone else's (even the guy I have a crush on).

Lately, though, my boy Cal has been posting incredibly cryptic, “motivational” speeches. (“Motivational” is in air quotes because these speeches are anything BUT motivational.) They really just make me sad for him and absolutely livid at Taylor because she definitely broke his heart to the point of no return.

Friends, the man has clearly lost it. Cryptic Calvin has gone INSANE.

Here are my interpretations of his cryptic Snapchats.

Friends, my boy Calvin is BACK and better than ever. If you haven't been keeping up with him, that's OK because I'll fill you in.

So, Calvin was in Scotland over the weekend, headlining at the T in the Park festival. He seemed to be having the time of his life because he posted a ton of snaps of him raging with friends and fans alike.

But as the night wound down, he retired to his room alone and shirtless (which is how I like him best):

Dear God, Calvin. Take it off. TAKE. IT. OFF. Now, if you ask me, I think he was probably still coming off the high from his show, which looked like a great success. And his high spirits might have had something to do with why he felt so confident playing with his hair while shirtless in a snap at 3:30 in the morning.

"Just perfecting my hair here," he said in his beautiful Scottish accent.

After he teased us with his golden locks and washboard abs, he focused in on something else as the inspiration for his next motivational speech.

No, it wasn't a fan this time. This time, it was...

Wait, is that what I think it is? Let's get a close-up look...

Yep, it's just what I thought. It's a fire alarm.

"Be the fire alarm," Calvin said. He continued, "The fire alarm doesn't care what sound it makes. So, be as bold and brave as the fire alarm."

I suppose, when you put it that way, the fire alarm is a good role model. It's also a step up from a fan, IMO. While the fan is kind of dreary and depressing, at least the fire alarm is loud, proud and unapologetic. Damn, Calvin. Why you gotta be so poetic?

I will say, I think he's slowly coming out of his slump because he used the brave fire alarm as a muse instead of the sad fan. Although, if we do decide to be the fire alarm, he does caution us about one thing:

Hmm, am I reading too much into this, or is that a dig at Taylor?