Entertainment

Netflix Just Announced Epic 'Making A Murderer' News And We Can't Handle It

by Taylor Ortega
Netflix

Despite the terrors of the modern world we wake and face each day, many of us have been sleeping too soundly since finishing Netflix's docu-series “Making a Murderer.”

Gone are the days of laying awake for hours, knowing sleep would never come as nearsighted, semi-sentient toe Ken Kratz's piercing baby voice rang in our ears.

Gone are the days of finally finding sleep only to wake, drenched in sweat from a threesome dream starring law-and-probably-group-sex experts Dean Strang and Jerry Buting.

Gone are the days of watching the sun rise as we binge-watched, drunk with exhaustion but eager to discover whether Steven Avery was innocent or, at the very least, nail down precisely how much of Wisconsin is made up of sprawling salvage yards.

WELL, WAKE UP, PEOPLE.

The fine citizens of Manitowoc County are coming back into our lives, according to an announcement by Netflix that's prompting tears of joy from true crime junkies everywhere.

In a joint statement, the series' executive producers Laura Ricciardi and Moira Demos shared,

We are extremely grateful for the tremendous response to, and support of, the series. The viewers' interest and attention has ensured that the story is not over, and we are fully committed to continuing to document events as they unfold.

Not to sound thirstier than a tongueless dog left to die in the desert, but is there any chance our lawyer boyfriends are back?

Ricciardi and Demos explained the next installment will bring fans “back inside the story of convicted murderer Steven Avery, and his co-defendant, Brendan Dassey, as their respective investigative and legal teams challenge their convictions and the State fights to have the convictions and life sentences upheld.”

Odds are the “legal teams” in question reference Avery's new lawyer Kathleen Zellner and Dassey's team Steven Drizin and Laura Nirider. This is good news for Nirider stalker/Elite Daily journalist Eitan Levine, but bad news for those of us looking to visually visit the one-stop man candy shop that is the Strang/Buting pairing.

~~DaRe 2 dReaM, BaeS~~

Citations: Netflix's Making a Murderer Returning With New Episodes About Steven Avery (Netflix)